DEAR ABBY: A close friend died unexpectedly. It was a shock to all of us who loved her. Attending the funeral helped me to say goodbye and eased the grief. The service was so beautiful that I commented later to my husband how I wished I could have videotaped it in order to remember the wonderful closure it gave me. He said he, too, would have liked a videotape, but that people would have thought it "tacky" if we showed up with a video camera.
My husband is 66 and I am 31. We know the odds are that he will die before me, and would like this question answered before that happens. Abby, is it awful to want a record of saying goodbye to a dearly loved human being in this manner? -- GRIEVING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR GRIEVING: Some churches provide audiotapes of funerals. If the family would like a video of the eulogy portion of the service, to record the tributes for later viewing or to share with those who could not attend, I see nothing wrong with it. However, some attendees might prefer that their grief not be recorded for posterity, and their wishes should be respected.
If the family makes the arrangements, I'm all for it. But for someone to simply show up with a video camera would be intrusive and insensitive.
P.S. Since none of us has a contract with God, there is a chance that you could predecease your husband. How would you feel about your funeral being videotaped?