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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Is Caught Hiding Behind His Wife's Opinion

DEAR ABBY: My son is engaged to be married. I live several states away from his fiancee and her family. I was informed by the girl's mother that there will be a bridal shower in her state to which I will be invited. She also told me a shower should be given here for the groom's family and friends to honor the bride, and that she and the bride would attend.

No one here has offered to give the bride a shower. Abby, is it proper for the bride's mother to tell me to arrange a shower for the bride, and to invite family and friends who probably won't be able to attend the wedding? Should I be offended or simply confused? -- GROOM'S MOM ON THE FAR COAST

DEAR GROOM'S MOM: The groom's family is not required to host a shower, and there is no obligation for your friends or more distant family to do so. If someone volunteers to host a shower, it would be a nice gesture. However, since no one should be invited to a shower who cannot attend the wedding, it might turn out to be a very small affair.