DEAR ABBY: I am writing with a message of warning to newlywed wives.
When I first married "Jim," I used to spend hours after dinner every night on the phone with my mother talking about family news -- what was happening with my father, my sister, my sister's husband, etc. When Jim complained, my mother and I both felt he was being selfish and ignored him.
Soon Jim took up jogging, and as soon as I picked up the phone in the evening, he would leave the house to run his miles. Then Jim started traveling to races on the weekends, and eventually met "Peggy," a pretty schoolteacher from a neighboring town who also liked to jog.
My inability to "let go" and build my primary family ties with my new husband cost me a great guy. How do I know he's so great? Because he still waves to my mother and me when we see him in the park jogging with Peggy and their two beautiful daughters. -- OUT OF THE RACE IN N.J.
DEAR OUT: I'm printing your cautionary tale for all to see. How sad that your preoccupation with your family caused you to shut out the person with whom you vowed to build a life.
I find it interesting that when your ex-husband sees you in the park, you're still with your mother. Unless that's the way you want it to be for the rest of your life, I recommend some counseling.