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Mountain Dew as Contraceptive Is Contrary to the Facts
DEAR ABBY: I am a Planned Parenthood speaker with a serious problem. I am writing in the hope that you can help me dispel the myth that Mountain Dew soft drinks prevent pregnancy. I have been working to dispel this myth for about two years -- and it seems I'm paddling upstream.
When I first realized that many students from fifth grade through college fervently believe that drinking Mountain Dew reduces the sperm count, I prayed that this was a local issue. I now know that this myth has circulated and is believed nationwide.
During my years as a volunteer with Planned Parenthood, I have encountered several myths, but none as potentially dangerous or difficult to dispel as the myth associated with this popular soft drink. Young people continue to obtain information largely from their peers -- a very unreliable source.
You have often reminded your readers about birth-control education presented by Planned Parenthood. Please take this opportunity to issue that reminder again and to alert parents and teens that Mountain Dew, while tasty, does not prevent pregnancy. -- MARJORIE SALTZMAN, PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR MARJORIE: Your letter is a first! Years ago a rumor circulated that douching with Coca-Cola after sex would prevent pregnancy. That, too, was a myth -- as many gullible "premature parents" discovered to their dismay.
Let me go on record as stating that Mountain Dew -- although a refreshing and enjoyable beverage -- is NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE. It may give the drinker a "buzz" because of its sugar and caffeine content, but it will do NOTHING to lower the sperm count. And to allege that it will is incorrect and irresponsible.
Young adults with computer access can find reliable information regarding reproductive health issues by visiting www.teenwire.com, a 24-hour, fully confidential Web site sponsored by Planned Parenthood. There they can find answers to questions they may feel uncomfortable asking parents, doctors -- or even their peers. It includes a FAQs (frequently asked questions) section and a "Yikes!" page for teens with urgent issues.
Now I have a riddle for you: What do you call young men who drink Mountain Dew because they think it's a contraceptive?
Answer: (All together now) FATHERS!
DEAR ABBY: In a reply to a recent letter about the devastating effects of smoking, you pledge to continue your campaign to discourage young people from starting to smoke.
Here's some help: Some 50 years ago, my scoutmaster demonstrated what happens when you blow smoke through a white handkerchief. I'll never forget the ugly brown stain from just one strong puff.
If everyone who comes in contact with young people performed this demonstration, perhaps some of them would think twice before beginning or continuing to smoke. -- JOHN F. GLASS, STUDIO CITY, CALIF.
DEAR JOHN: Thanks for the help. I remember seeing a similar demonstration many years ago. It was targeted at young people who had not yet started to smoke, and one look was a convincing deterrent because of the amount of tar that appeared on the handkerchief. It took no imagination to see what smoking does to the bronchial tubes and lungs.
Oxygen Brings Breath of Life and Kiss of Death as Well
DEAR ABBY: You gave incorrect information to your readers when you stated that oxygen was extremely flammable and the oxygen should be turned off whenever one smokes.
Oxygen does not burn, Abby. It supports combustion. Users of oxygen have their clothes saturated with oxygen, and this is the source of the danger. Their clothes can go up in flames because of it. That's why the rule is, "No smoking around an oxygen user." -- ERNEST R. SCHLACTER, M.D., WICHITA, KAN.
DEAR DR. SCHLACTER: Thank you for correcting my error. I have heard from several readers about it. I have seen signs that read "No smoking near oxygen" and assumed the reason was because it was flammable.
Now I would like to share some of the education I received about oxygen from John P. Skulavik, D.S., respiratory care practitioner and registered respiratory therapist. He is the regional director of environmental, health and safety for Airgas in Lakewood, Calif.:
"Oxygen is neither flammable nor combustible; however, it can make an existing fire burn faster. Therefore, it is important that there be at least a 25-foot distance between oxygen and any flames, sparks, heaters or other source of ignition. Oxygen should never be stored in a small closet or confined space as it could create a fire hazard.
"Smoking while using medical oxygen is a very dangerous practice and should never occur, unless one is anxious to be transported via ambulance to the burn unit, and/or checked into the inside of a refrigerator at the coroner's office."
He further explained that workers who use oxygen should never use pressurized oxygen to blow dust or debris off clothing or surfaces because items saturated with oxygen are a disaster waiting to happen.
You've heard the cliche, "If you play with fire, expect to get burned." Well, the same holds true for oxygen. While oxygen is necessary for life, used improperly it can become an instrument of death.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently remarried after 10 years apart. He is 70; I am 58. The subject is a delicate one.
During the last seven of our years apart, my husband was sexually inactive -- and unfortunately atrophy has set in. This is a generous and giving man, Abby, and we have a lot of physical love-sharing. The problem? He opposes Viagra. Not having "that" part of love-making available to us is an incredible loss for me. It is for him, too, I am certain. I pray about it and talk to friends, but nobody has offered us any help.
My questions for you are: Is it possible this male dysfunction thing will reverse itself? And are there other options besides Viagra? Given all the bad news, do you have any advice on how to cope with this? -- LOOKING FOR MIRACLES, MERIDIAN, MISS.
DEAR LOOKING: Male sexual dysfunction that persists for seven years rarely reverses itself without medical or psychological intervention. Your husband is long overdue for a complete physical examination, and if a cause isn't determined, he should ask for a referral to a urologist to determine the cause. And yes, there are other options besides Viagra. The doctor will be delighted to enlighten him.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Mother's Heartlessness Is Not All in Daughters' Heads
DEAR ABBY: This letter is a late response to "Emotionally Bruised," whose mother was supercritical. My mother also says and does the most incredibly heartless things to us. When our father was alive, he used to cover for her as much as possible in order to keep peace in the family. Now that my father has passed away, my sister and I have had to deal with my mother's inappropriate behavior.
Due to a family blowup just before Thanksgiving (the first holiday since my father's passing), we got Mother to attend two therapy sessions with my sister and me. Mother was her usual heartless, mean self in front of the therapist, so he was able to get a clear picture of what we had been dealing with. Later, in a private session, the therapist gave me some valuable information. He explained that my mother is extremely narcissistic. She is not, nor will she ever be, able to become empathetic or understanding of others.
In many ways, it was wonderful to have the validation and acknowledgment from an outsider about my mother's behavior; however it also felt like a death sentence. The therapist advised me to do all I can to protect myself from my mother, but to never stop telling her that her words and actions are hurting me. My silence all these years had led her to believe that I accept and agree with her.
It is always tough standing up to this woman, and the fallout afterward is difficult. However, I am not giving up. If I do, my children, who have witnessed their grandmother's heartless behavior for many years, will think that it's OK to allow someone to use you as a doormat. -- DESERVES TO BE RESPECTED, SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
DEAR DESERVES: The money you and your sister invested in the therapist was obviously well spent. I find it admirable that the two of you are able to tolerate your mother's company after having suffered her verbal abuse for so many years -- most victims wouldn't.
Since you have been advised that she is incapable of changing her behavior, it is essential that you "bullet-proof" your children if they are going to be exposed to her. They should not be led to believe that her behavior is something that should be expected from a mentally healthy person. Teach them that your mother suffers from a personality disorder, and they should not believe her when she says mean things.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long-distance relationship with a man for a year and a half, but he lives with a 55-year-old jealous female housemate. He tells me she's jealous of all of his friends.
He has proposed marriage to me and said he would move to my state, but there has always been some delay. Now he has moved out of their house and into his own place -- but he moved his female housemate in with him because she suffered a heart attack. Where does that leave me? -- WONDERING IN MARYLAND
DEAR WONDERING: It leaves you on the outside looking in. There's another hen in the nest. Face it, whether he's married, or the same as married -- he's unavailable.
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