DEAR ABBY: I clipped out your "Commandments for a Mother-in-Law" as a reminder of how fortunate I am to have my daughter-in-law. You recently printed a rebuttal to these comments from "Disappointed Mother-in-Law," who was nonchalant about losing a relationship with her son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.
I lost my only child, Darrin, two years ago to a brain tumor. Darrin and my daughter-in-law, Sherri, had been married only a short time before Darrin's sudden death. Although Sherri was not the person I thought my son would marry, I knew she was his choice. I respected his decision and treated Sherri as a daughter, not a daughter-in-law.
When Darrin died, I feared I had lost not only my child, but also a daughter, and any possibility of having grandchildren. However, Sherri still calls me "Mom," and we visit my son's grave several times a year. I now realize my son's "choice" was an excellent one and I have been blessed by gaining a daughter.
I feel sorry for "Disappointed." Her tragedy is worse than mine. She has lost her son, daughter-in-law, and any possibility of having a relationship with her grandchildren. -- GRATEFUL MOTHER-IN-LAW
DEAR GRATEFUL: You were a wise woman not to have allowed preconceived notions to get in the way of a strong relationship with your son and his wife. You're both stronger for having each other. Please accept my sympathy for your sad loss.