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by Abigail Van Buren

Hosts Are in the Doghouse for Providing an Outhouse

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old female who has not had a boyfriend in more than two years. I am desperately lonely and want a guy I can trust and share my life with. I have one particular guy in mind, but I'm afraid if I let him know how I feel, he will reject me. I need someone who makes me feel "complete," and I feel he is the one.

My problem is that he hangs out with the popular group and probably won't even try being an "us." Is something wrong with me? What should I do? -- LONESOME TEEN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR LONESOME: There is nothing "wrong" with you. Many women feel they need someone to make them feel "complete." However, it's a huge mistake. The only person who can truly make you complete is YOU. Rather than concentrating on how lonely and needy you are, instead focus your energies outward on activities that interest you. It will make you a far more interesting person to be around.

Are you interested in art? Go to the library and read up on it. Visit museums and art galleries. (You might meet a nice guy there who's also trying to improve his mind, or some budding artists who are on the brink of recognition.) Are you interested in photography? Inquire if a local photographer could use an assistant during the late afternoons or on weekends.

You'll feel better about yourself if you allow yourself less time to brood. The most successful people I know were usually not part of the "in" crowd in high school.

P.S. That includes my twin sister and me!