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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom Irked by Sister in Law With No Desire to Play Aunt

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a wedding invitation from a family member. It was addressed to me only -- not my husband. The inside envelope also included only my name. Some of my friends say it was probably an oversight and told me I should add my husband's name on the return card. I feel this is improper. Another friend says there is no excuse, and I shouldn't go or send a gift. My husband is hurt, and I'm not sure what to do. Your thoughts, please. -- SHIRLEY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHIRLEY: To exclude your husband's name from the invitation was extremely rude. It meant that only you were invited to the wedding. Under no circumstances should you add his name to the response card. Simply pencil in that you will NOT be in attendance. Should the family member call to ask why, inform the person that you would be uncomfortable attending without your husband, and that he was hurt not to have been included.