DEAR ABBY: I am 14 years old and looking for a girlfriend. I can wash up -- dress up -- but when it comes to asking a girl out, I choke up.
When I see a girl, I turn red and run the other way. What should I do? -- FEELING BLUE IN SOUTH DAKOTA
DEAR FEELING BLUE: Most people your age feel awkward asking for that "first date," so forget about it for a while. You've placed too great an importance on "dating" and psyched yourself out.
Get involved in clubs or activities that appeal to both sexes. Learn to be part of a group of friends. Start making casual conversations with girls you like. Examples: Talk about the weather, a recent news event, a classroom assignment, or a new movie opening this weekend. Maybe she and others would like to see it, too.
If she doesn't want to go -- or has other plans -- don't take it personally. Ask another girl. Suggest some other activity. Soon you will be part of a group, feeling more comfortable and less shy.
Then, when you want a date for a school dance or sporting event, you'll naturally ask someone you've gotten to know, and you won't turn red and run away again. Trust me.