To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Novice Gun Owner Receives Eye Opening Safety Lesson
DEAR ABBY: I would like to pass on some information that came to me via a 14-year-old.
I bought a gun because I travel long distances alone. I called the police to ask them the best way to travel with a gun without getting in trouble with the police. They instructed me to put the clip in the trunk of my car and the gun itself on the seat beside me.
I was telling a friend about this and remarked that if I got into trouble, the gun would be useless. Her 14-year-old son spoke up and said, "No, there's a bullet still in the chamber even after the clip is removed." I asked my father if this was true, and he confirmed it. He removed the clip from my gun and instructed me to go outside and pull the trigger. I did, and it did, indeed, have a bullet in the chamber!
I have often wondered how people could shoot themselves while cleaning a gun. I had no idea that when the clip was removed, a gun could still be loaded. I wonder how many hunters are aware of this. I thought I'd pass this along. Perhaps it could save someone's life. -- DEBRA IN OKLAHOMA CITY
DEAR DEBRA: I am not particularly knowledgeable about guns, so I called the Los Angeles Police Department to inquire. Officer Rodriguez, with whom I spoke, informed me that one should always assume the gun is loaded, and a shell does remain in the chamber when the magazine is removed -- unless it, too, is removed. That's an important warning for inexperienced gun owners.
DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter encouraging letters of honest praise to often-overlooked workers. Sometimes, but not often enough, I try to do that.
A few years back, I tried to think of the most underpraised group of workers that I could sincerely compliment. So, I took a picture of our minimally dented 20-year-old metal garbage can sitting at its usual clean spot at the curb. I sent an 8-by-10 color print along with a complimentary letter to the head of sanitation for the city of Dallas. They have obviously been in operation for decades, and they have hundreds of employees who are often maligned for spilled trash, noise, etc.
A few days later, I received a letter in response. It said something like this: "Thanks very much for your complimentary letter. It causes a bit of a problem. We don't know where to file it. It's the first that we have ever received." -- KARL SOUTHWARD, NEMO, TEXAS
DEAR KARL: Your letter proves there's a first time for everything. Now clip this column and send it to the head of sanitation for the city of Dallas with a note: "How about filing it under 'C' for compliments? A letter like the one you received from me is a keeper!" (I'll bet they receive a dozen clippings of this column!)
DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter in which Ernest A. Schichler Sr. described how hospital visitors subject patients to stress. I, too, have seen this.
My father had a stroke that partially paralyzed him. While he was in the hospital recovering, his many friends came to wish him well. He could barely talk because of the paralysis, so they talked among themselves. At one point, he called me to the bedside and, speaking with great difficulty, said, "Tell them to leave. They're talking about the high price of funerals." -- KELLY MC DONOUGH, HURST, TEXAS
Cover Mouth, Wash Hands Is Good Advice for Cold Season
DEAR ABBY: Because the season of colds and flu is upon us, I'd like to share with you a verse I think can be credited to the late Ish K. Bibble, a comedian on the "Kay Kayser Kollege of Musical Knowledge," a popular radio program in the '40s:
"I sneezed a sneeze into the air;
"It fell to earth I knew not where:
"But you should have seen the looks on those
"In whose vicinity I snoze!"
Abby, please remind your readers to remember this little verse the next time they feel a sneeze or cough coming on, whether on the street, in a theater, a supermarket, a plane, train or boat -- and especially in MY vicinity! Always use a handkerchief, a tissue, your hand or even your shoulder. Those around you will be grateful.
Thanks for passing this along, Abby. -- HATES THE SNIFFLES
DEAR HATES: You're welcome. No one wants to be sneezed upon -- and colds and flu germs are nothing to be sneezed at. My experts tell me that the hands are the most frequent spreaders of disease. Cold germs can be picked up by touching doorknobs, elevator buttons or telephones that were first handled by infected individuals. When the hand is then used to touch the mouth or nose, or to scratch an eyelid, the cold is transferred to the next "victim." The most effective way to avoid cold and flu germs is to frequently wash one's hands in warm, soapy water.
DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter is being married next April. She and her boyfriend have been living together for four years. It will be the second marriage for her and the third for him.
My question: Do they share the expense of the wedding equally, or does my granddaughter assume the whole financial responsibility? Her fiance says, "The bride pays for everything -- and if you want to marry me, you'll pay for it." Is that right? -- ALICE IN ATLANTA
DEAR ALICE: That depends on how you look at it. From my perspective, not only will your granddaughter "pay for it" -- she'll pay for it and pay for it and pay for it. He should be ashamed of himself for attempting to place the entire financial burden on her shoulders. He and your granddaughter are a couple and should split the cost of their wedding 50-50. She should think twice about marrying this fellow.
DEAR ABBY: A church here in Minneapolis made up a list of all their male parishioners who died during service in any war.
They put this list on the wall for everyone to see.
A 4-year-old boy was standing and looking at the list when the minister came by.
The boy asked the minister, "What is this list for?"
The minister replied, "That is all our male parishioners who died in the service."
The boy asked the minister, "Was it during the 9 o'clock or 10:30 service?" -- ORVILLE M. ANDERSON, MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR ORVILLE: That's a cute story. Did it really happen, or are you pulling my prayer shawl?
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, who is wonderful, is always trying to help me out, so she suggested I meet "Phyllis," her psychic. For $35, Phyllis told me about my present, my past and my future.
She told me that "Johnny," the man I've been involved with for the last five years, is my soulmate -- and if I want him to propose, I will need to get spiritual cleansing. That means she and a few other people will meditate for six weeks on my behalf to disperse the dark cloud that is interrupting my life and relationship and causing me to fail in life. She says that's the reason life has been so difficult financially and personally, and things won't improve without a spiritual cleansing. The cost is $500.
I have been divorced for 16 years and I'm raising three kids on my own with no child support. I've been trying with no luck to convince Johnny to marry me, and I've been out of work for two months because of knee surgery. I'm beginning to think I'm never going to get what I want out of life. That's why I went to see Phyllis for answers.
Is this as silly as I suspect it is, Abby? Or do I need some professional counseling? Please help me decide. -- GETTING NOWHERE IN OXNARD, CALIF.
DEAR GETTING NOWHERE: I'm pleased to help -- and in doing so I can save you $499.67. I don't need a crystal ball to see that unless Phyllis is offering a double-your-money-back guarantee along with her spiritual cleansing, she's trying to take you to the cleaners. You don't need spiritual cleansing or professional counseling. You appear to be completely in touch with reality.
After five years, Johnny should know whether or not he wants to settle down with you. If he refuses to make a commitment, face it -- you and he have very different goals. If it's marriage you want, he may not be your soulmate after all. That's not a black cloud over your head; that's life.
Your knee will heal, and you'll be back in the work force soon. If you can no longer work on your feet, you'll have to find something more sedentary.
Consider this: Life is a series of new beginnings, and new beginnings are positive. If you lack the faith to believe it, talk to some members of the clergy. Faith is their business.
DEAR ABBY: Each year, I am grateful for the many blessings in my life, especially during the year-end holidays. However, I have one problem that plagues me every Christmas. Two female relatives criticize my food preparation, my decorating choices, my clothing, my appearance, my child-rearing practices and my choice of gifts.
Because tradition dictates that family be included in our Christmas celebrations, I feel I must include them each year. However, I would like to stop them from being critical. They are both from an older generation, and I don't want to appear disrespectful. How can I tell them next year without offending them? -- FRUSTRATED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: You can't -- because hypercritical people are also usually hypersensitive when criticism is reflected back at them. I offer this bit of advice instead: Just because a jackass brays doesn't mean you have to listen. Tune them out.
CONFIDENTIAL TO "THINKING OF BAILING": To quote Winston Churchill, "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." You have invested too much of yourself, your time and your money to quit now. In two more years, you'll attain your goal and you won't be sorry.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)