What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Over Hill and Dale Is Misery if Husband's Behind the Wheel
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been discussing buying a recreational vehicle that we could take to New Hampshire or California. However, I have some reservations about traveling with him, as he gets too intense when he gets behind the wheel of a car.
Past experiences have made car travel sheer hell, because he fills up the gas tank and refuses to stop for anything until the tank indicator reads empty. It doesn't matter whether the dog or I have to go to the bathroom, or need to get out and stretch our legs, or if we need to eat or are thirsty. As if that doesn't make us miserable enough, he insists on doing all the driving at 10 to 20 miles above the speed limit. All the scenery is a blur!
I have discussed these issues with him and he assures me that he will change, but I have been with him almost 20 years, and I don't see it happening in the near future. I am concerned that we'll end up killing each other.
Should I say yes? -- TRAVEL TERROR
DEAR TRAVEL TERROR: Heck no! Your husband has proven that once he gets behind the wheel he's disrespectful of the law, insensitive to your needs, and so focused on getting to the destination that you cannot enjoy the trip. Do your bladder a favor. Take a bus, take a train, but do not agree to accompany him on the highway.
DEAR ABBY: This may seem trivial to you, but the more I encounter this the more it annoys me. It seems that almost every form to be filled out -- organization, business, government agency, etc. -- asks for first name, middle initial and last name.
Abby, there are thousands of us (maybe hundreds of thousands) who don't go by our first names. We use our middle names. When I try filling out forms using just the first initial and writing in my middle name, they invariably reverse it in subsequent correspondence.
Have these people never heard of T. Boone Pickens, H. Ross Perot and J. Paul Getty? It would be so simple to just put in the spaces and ask for first name OR initial, middle name OR initial and last name. Am I being petty? Sign me ... J. QUENTIN PUBLIC, NOT JOHN Q. PUBLIC
DEAR MR. PUBLIC: You are not being petty, and I empathize with your frustration. You are a square peg who doesn't quite fit into a round hole. Console yourself that at least you are in good company, because it's unlikely that the forms will be changed -- even for H. Ross Perot, T. Boone Pickens or J. Quentin Public. (J. Paul Getty is beyond those worldly concerns.)
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from the brother-in-law of a restaurant owner concerning "unattended children." I couldn't resist sending a copy of a sign that was on the wall of a restaurant near Interstate 90 near Bozeman, Mont.:
"Children unattended will be
"Towed away at owner's expense!"
Abby, feel free to share it with your readers. -- KEN CRANE, JORDAN, MINN.
Loss of Vision to Fireworks Is No Way to Celebrate the Fourth
DEAR ABBY: In the summer of 1997, when I was 11, I was injured in an accident with an illegal firework. In celebration of the Chicago Bulls' fifth championship, my friends and I were watching an adult neighbor try to light a firework. Without warning, the firework went off, spraying gunpowder and debris in our direction. I was struck on the left side of my face and lost my left eye. Two of my friends were also burned and scarred. Before the accident, I had been diagnosed through my school's vision testing program with amblyopia of the right eye. The vision in my right eye was limited.
I have learned from personal experience that fireworks are always dangerous, even when used by an adult. I encourage everyone to celebrate every Fourth of July by going to a local park to enjoy the professional demonstrations.
On Saturday, June 26, I am proud to be a part of the second annual Light the Night for Sight Walkathon, sponsored by Prevent Blindness America. I implore all of your readers to join all of us working to increase fireworks safety awareness. Please help your local Prevent Blindness America chapter by walking or by pledging your financial support.
Prevent Blindness America also has many programs to screen for eye diseases and detect conditions such as amblyopia and to prevent workplace injuries to eyes. I am enthusiastic about helping other people avoid having to go through what I had to experience. Remember to always appreciate the gift of sight. -- COLIN J. BURNS, CHICAGO
DEAR COLIN: Thank you for a terrific letter, and for the timely reminder about fireworks safety. I respect your effort to educate the public so that other children and adults will not have to experience the trauma that you did.
And while we're on the subject of fireworks, let me add that sparklers can also be very dangerous in the hands of children. Sparklers are not a benign firework; they heat up to 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit -- hot enough to melt gold! -- and they are the second-highest cause of fireworks eye injuries requiring trips to the emergency room. A wise parent will forgo making sparklers a part of children's celebrations.
For those interested in knowing more about fireworks safety, Prevent Blindness America's toll-free number is (800) 331-2020. The organization will be happy to provide callers with more information about fireworks, the Light the Night for Sight Walkathon, or how you can help. They are offering the booklet "Safe Summer Celebrations" at no charge, as well as fireworks injury fact sheets and a "quiz" to educate both parents and kids. But don't wait to call -- vision safety is nothing to wink at.
DEAR ABBY: Parents allowing children to play with toy guns should think twice. Have they ever observed children playing and saying, "Bang, bang. You're wounded"? -- A.R. GROSSMAN, SAN FRANCISCO
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
SWIFT RESPONSE TO EMERGENCY DOESN'T MEAN ALL ENDS WELL
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Eileen in Port Angeles" about CPR and the people who judge the caregivers hit home. As a volunteer firefighter and emergency medical technician for 18 years, I have answered many calls where a person has died from cardiac arrest. It's hard when a stranger dies in your hands, and even harder when it's someone you know.
The evolution of CPR and defibrillation has made it possible to "save" a percentage of these people, but it's a very small percentage. Most cardiac arrests result in the patient remaining dead. Therefore it's important that anyone rendering care remember that once the heart stops, the person is clinically dead. Nothing they do is going to make that worse. If all of the resuscitation efforts fail, the care provider has not "killed" the person, nor contributed to his death, and it is NEVER the provider's fault that the person died.
If more people got involved and learned CPR and other basic first-aid skills, they would have a better understanding of life and death, and they wouldn't be so quick to criticize and look for blame that isn't there. -- BOB GAJEWSKI, WALES CENTER, N.Y.
DEAR BOB: I have a stack of mail from readers echoing your sentiments. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: As a 30-year veteran emergency medical services technician and current CPR instructor, I can empathize with the overwhelming feeling of guilt experienced by "Mary Helen," who performed CPR on her brother. In our society, we are conditioned to believe that anything less than "winning" is failure. But to encourage that guilt by saying someone failed or "lost" a cardiac-arrest victim is reprehensible.
Potential rescuers must have the motivation to learn CPR. Second, they must be willing to get involved and take control in an emergency. Third, they must be able to exert the physical strength and emotional stamina. These challenges must be met before the actual CPR process begins. Most individuals are not prepared to go this far. Thankfully, "Mary Helen" was. Heroes never plan to be heroic; they just unselfishly give of themselves.
"Mary Helen," please recognize that you exhibited the courage, executed the skills and performed heroically. Remember, the ultimate decision was never yours to make. That load is not yours to bear.
We are excited by the entry of new technology and improved CPR skills that will allow us to substantially increase resuscitation rates. I am referring to the introduction of the Automated External Defibrillator (AED) and newly enhanced courses offered by national training entities for the general public. In the near future this device will be readily available in stadiums, airports, shopping centers, businesses, churches and homes. The challenge is to train as many people as possible in the operation of this user-friendly medical marvel.
I encourage your readers to contact their nearest CPR training facility and inquire about the AED and the latest courses available in its application. -- BILL CARTER, CHATTANOOGA, TENN.
DEAR BILL: That's exciting news. About five years ago, I had my staff certified in a "heart-saver" course offered by the American Heart Association. Thank heavens we have never encountered an emergency, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Thank you for the reminder to call the association and ask, "What's new?"
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)