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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My cousin "April" recently learned from a family member that I am pregnant. She was also told that if we have a boy, I intend to name him "Frank" after a dear uncle who passed away recently.

April immediately telephoned me and told me I couldn't name my child after our uncle because she's trying to get pregnant and intends to use the same name. She demanded I choose a different name so she could honor our uncle in this way.

Abby, April is not pregnant, and my baby is due in June. My husband was very upset by what she said, and told me never to speak to her again. My father says that when it comes to naming a baby, the first one born is the first one named.

April thinks I'm being rude and selfish by "doing this to her." My father says it doesn't matter because we live 2,000 miles apart.

Is there a tactful way to handle this without stirring up a feud with my cousin? -- IN A BIND

DEAR IN A BIND: You say in your letter "our uncle" -- however, if Cousin April is Uncle Frank's daughter, I see her point. But if Uncle Frank was her uncle, too, I see no reason why your child shouldn't be named anything you wish. If she uses the same name, the boys could be given different middle names, which would minimize confusion -- and because they live so far apart, I doubt it would inconvenience anyone. Cousin April should lighten up.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a copy of a wonderful poem. It's supposed to be one that Audrey Hepburn shared with her family during her last Christmas, just weeks before she died. If that's true, it says a great deal about how that much-admired woman lived her life. I don't know who the author is, but perhaps you'll find it worth sharing with your readers. -- MORTON WRIGHT, GRANADA HILLS, CALIF.

DEAR MORTON: There's some inspiring philosophy in the poem, and it's well worth sharing. Read on:

Beauty Secrets

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you never walk alone.

We leave you a tradition of the future. The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw anyone away.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands: One for helping yourself, the second for helping others.

You have great days still ahead of you. May there be many of them.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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