DEAR ABBY: My wife's mother passed away last summer, leaving her husband alone. He is an alcoholic, in generally poor health, and has been in and out of the hospital. My problem is that my wife has now decided she wants him to live with us.
We have three children and a dog in our four-bedroom house. If my father-in-law moves in here, my sons, ages 7 and 13, will have to share a bedroom.
Abby, I feel that even though she asked me if it would be all right for her father to move in, it wouldn't have mattered what I said. The other evening she asked me when we were going to set up the bunk beds for the boys. My reply was that I was not happy about this and didn't want her father here. As you may guess, she's furious with me and now she won't speak to me.
I am not doing this to be mean, as she says. I believe he is a bad influence on the children. Also, my wife works nights, and that means I'll be the one who will be home with him all evening.
Am I being unreasonable? An opinion from an impartial person would be appreciated. -- ANONYMOUS IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR ANONYMOUS: No, you are not being unreasonable. Present your wife with alternatives for her father such as senior services, live-in help or a senior care facility. The two of you should be able to compromise on this issue even if the solution isn't perfect.