DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old student in my last year of high school, desperately trying to find my calling in life.
I love writing, and I am proud to say that my English grades have been high. I enjoy anything that has to do with writing, from making my own greeting cards and calendars to writing stories and letters.
Abby, I want to go to a university, but I'm not sure what field I should pursue, because many people tell me that there aren't many jobs available in the language field.
I read your column every day and admire your work. I was hoping that you could give me some sound advice. -- UNSURE SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL
DEAR UNSURE: There is no need to make up your mind about your career field at this time. Go to college and take classes that will get the basics out of the way, and also a few in creative writing and journalism. You can also be tested in the student counselor's office to determine in which field you are likely to be fulfilled and successful.
Many people choose majors in the first or second years of college, but many also change those majors as they mature and discover they have other interests. Please don't feel that you must make a career choice before you have explored several options.
DEAR ABBY: You recently ran a letter from "Widow X" that contained some valuable advice to the elderly who had to move in with their adult children upon the death of a spouse. May I please add to her wonderful list of self-cautionary words?
-- Don't assume that you're included in every social event or invitation your child and in-law receive. When you are included, accept cheerfully if you wish to attend. However, if the invitation does not specifically include you, don't pout and complain.
-- If your child and spouse plan a vacation, don't whine if you're not included. Remember when you and your own spouse were able to take vacations; recall how nice it was to get away alone. Give them the same opportunity.
-- Nurture grandchildren, but don't interfere in their discipline. Do not create discord between children and parents. If you have a valuable insight to offer regarding child-rearing, share it during a private moment with your adult child.
-- Under no circumstances should you pry into drawers, bills, personal papers, mail, etc. Refrain from asking the price of a purchase, i.e., new home, vehicle, furniture or appliance. If they want you to know, they'll tell you.
-- Remember, they have offered you a place to live. Although it is now your home, too, respect the fact they are the head of this household. You had your turn in that position. Now let them enjoy theirs! -- MARY HELEN SALAZAR, LA PUENTE, CALIF.
DEAR MARY HELEN: Your addition to the rules from "Widow X" make sense. However, all members of multigenerational households should remember that such living arrangements often involve an enormous adjustment for everyone concerned. Giving up one's independence is often as difficult for the senior as losing privacy is for the sandwich generation.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
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