DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Lost in North Carolina," who has herpes.
I am fortunate to be in a relationship with a fine woman who knows how much she is worth and brings joy and a great attitude into my life and the lives of her children. Yes, she has herpes. She had it long before I met her, and I knew she had it before I asked her to go out with me. She had so many of the important qualities I was looking for in a woman that it was not an issue.
With proper care and proper precaution, "Lost in North Carolina" can have a normal life and a great sex life to go with it. My darling and I have been together two years, and I have not contracted herpes. I expect to live a long life with her and not have a problem. And if I get herpes, it will not be the end of the world. There is life after herpes.
To "Lost," I would say, "Start believing in yourself and don't look for reasons to fail. If you think no one will want you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The fact that you have herpes will not stop someone from loving you. What will is a defeatist attitude." Sign me ... HOLDING THE HAND OF SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE
DEAR HOLDING: I subscribe to your philosophy for successful living -- and it applies to more challenges than herpes. Thank you for a helpful letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I write to offer hope to the lady who confided to you that she feels that now she has genital herpes, no one will ever want her.
When I caught genital herpes two years ago, I felt the same way. Back then I took your advice and contacted the Herpes Foundation. These caring people got me set up with my local support chapter and I began attending their monthly meetings. Through these meetings I met my soul mate, who is also afflicted.
We plan to be married in the future. Out of something bad came something wonderful! I hope this helps the woman who wrote to you by letting her know that all is not lost. -- LIVING (WELL) IN MESA, ARIZ.