DEAR ABBY: I'm 51 years old, married, and have a grown son who's 30. I'll call him Butch. I'm writing to express my displeasure with computer greeting cards. I'm not knocking all computers, only the ones that print out greeting cards. If Butch doesn't care enough about me to go to a store and pick out a card -- even if it costs only a dollar -- for my birthday, etc., then he can just keep his computer cards.
Abby, please spread the word that it's the warm thoughts in picking out a card that really count. A card printed by a computer is cold, with no heart, no feelings. It's not what a mother deserves. -- HURT MOMMA IN GREENWOOD, MISS.
DEAR HURT: Please reconsider your stance on this. Many mothers never receive any cards from their children. Bear in mind that many of the software programs for creating greeting cards on computers are complicated. Even the simple ones take some time and practice to master. Rather than drive to a store, your son sat down at his computer and created a one-of-a-kind card for you. In my opinion, that's at least as much effort as going to a store and selecting one, and shows heart and feeling.
Remember when, as a child, Butch came running home from school with a picture he drew especially for you? That came from the heart, and this is no different.
DEAR ABBY: This letter is far too late for Mother's Day, but it still may do some good.
My family attends a small church in the southern United States. Mother's Day is one service I refuse to attend any more. The atmosphere for this service is funereal. The service starts out with songs like "If I Could Only Hear My Mother Pray Again" and "Mother's Marker." From there, they call mothers who are the "youngest," "oldest" and "has most children" to the front for a gift.
I lost my mom to cancer in 1991, and Mother's Day is the saddest day of the year for me. Even before my mom died, I would go to church and cry along with others who were hurting.
Parents should be honored every day, not just one day. Please, let us all be more considerate to those who no longer have a mom. -- STILL HURTING IN LUTTRELL, TENN.
DEAR STILL HURTING: Amen! And let us not forget the moms who have lost children to death. Be assured that they will never forget.
DEAR ABBY: So many people rely on what you write that I am writing to you to ask you to please print a correction in your inclusion of Georgia in the list of states allowing common-law marriage.
Common-law marriages created prior to Jan. 1, 1997, may be upheld, but those after that date will not. We do not want anyone to begin living with another under the assumption that their union will become legal. -- KIPLING LOUISE MC VAY, JUDGE, CHEROKEE COUNTY PROBATE COURT, CANTON, GA.
DEAR JUDGE MC VAY: I was unaware that Georgia changed its requirements for common-law marriage last year -- as were my library researchers. Thank you for pointing this out. In my own defense, let me say that I advised any couple considering common-law marriage to consult an attorney before assuming that their union is legal and binding.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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