DEAR ABBY: My mother did a poor job of raising my brother and me. Now, at 32, I have a duty-based relationship with her. I have three children under 4, and I want to have a much better relationship with them. From my mother's example, I know what not to do; however, I don't have the role model to show me the right things to do. I have read parenting books, but there are so many different viewpoints that I don't know which would work for me.
I know there are many wonderful mothers out there, and I want to be one of them. What do great moms do that makes them great? I'd love to hear how women have excelled in this most important of jobs. -- MOM IN DENVER
DEAR MOM: Motherhood is two parts instinct to one part "book learning." Your instinctive desire to have a good relationship with your children will guide you in most situations. Look around you for women you consider to be good mothers and question them. Their experience is worth volumes, and they are usually happy to share their wisdom. That's part of what makes them good mothers.