DEAR ABBY: I must respond to the letter from "Eileen Drew, Melbourne, Fla.," whose husband wears a safety helmet while using his riding lawnmower.
You took it a step further, saying roofers, pool men and all workers with any risk of head injury should wear helmets.
All well and good, Abby, but I think you should have gone even further. There are many hazards around the home and in recreational pursuits from which we all need protection.
For example, take the shower: Do you realize how many people are injured by falling while showering? I have taken to wearing a safety helmet while in the shower, just in case I should slip and fall. You may be wondering how I wash my hair. I'm in the process of solving that by hanging the harness of a WWI parachute from the shower ceiling. From this I will be suspended, in order to avoid falling while my helmet is removed for shampooing.
I love to swim, but I fear that I may strike my head while diving, so I also wear a helmet while swimming. I get lots of funny looks, but that's OK; I'm safe and those other guys are not!
Another hazard I've recently been made aware of is hitting my head on the nightstand should I fall out of bed at night. Also, at my age, I have to get up frequently during the night to use the bathroom; what if I should trip and fall in the darkened room? To avoid these hazards, I wear my safety helmet to bed.
I am currently working on an invention that will provide ultimate safety to everyone, everywhere, 24 hours a day: FULL BODY ARMOR. The air-conditioning unit for summertime wear has me baffled right now, but I've resolved to keep working on it.
In the meantime, next month when we go to Hawaii, it is my intention to see to it that every person walking on Waikiki beach wears a safety helmet. I know I'll be wearing mine. -- NORM TOTEY, EVERETT, WASH.
DEAR NORM: Enough, already. You win!