DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you had a letter in your column about returning the engagement ring when the engagement is broken. You said the ring should be returned.
Abby, my question is who should be responsible for all the other expenses? Our daughter dated a young man I'll call "Harold" for a year before they became engaged. They planned their wedding for a year later. Harold called off the wedding because he wanted to date other women.
Abby, the wedding dress, decorations, flowers, hall, groom's ring, etc., had all been paid for. The bridesmaids had paid for their gowns, but our daughter reimbursed them.
Harold feels no obligation to share any of these expenses, although he was the one who wanted a big wedding.
Harold has asked for the engagement ring back, but he's not willing to pay half of the expenses, and I don't think she should return it until he has reimbursed us.
What do you think about this, Abby? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
DEAR MOTHER: Since Harold refuses to reimburse you for any of the expenses, and a fair amount of money was lost, I suggest that you consult an attorney about the ring as well as his share of the expenses.
There have been lawsuits about this dilemma, and in some cases, the court ruled that the ring belonged to the former bride.
It is possible that a court of law will order Harold to ante up a portion of the expenses.
On the positive side, your daughter should realize how fortunate she is that he jumped ship sooner rather than later.