DEAR ABBY: I must disagree with some of the advice you gave to "Sleepless in Missouri," the woman whose fiance's sister stole an expensive painting and her grandmother's china. You stated that the sister may be suffering from kleptomania, a persistent neurotic impulse to steal, especially without economic motive.
Abby, kleptomania is a rare disorder. People who suffer from it usually steal small, inexpensive items that they have no use for. They usually feel extremely remorseful for what they have done, and frequently either return the items or give them away.
More than likely, the sister of "Sleepless'" fiance is suffering from a sense of entitlement. Since she brazenly displays the stolen items, she seems to feel no qualms about what she has done. She may rationalize it was acceptable to steal the items because "Sleepless" was not using them. Also, she may have thought she wouldn't get caught, or the items would not be missed since they were left in storage.
"Sleepless" should confront her fiance and his sister about the stolen items and be prepared to press charges.
I am as troubled as you, Abby, that her fiance condones his sister's stealing, especially from someone he supposedly loves. I endorse your advice to "Sleepless" to think twice before entering into that marriage. -- SUSAN J. ULLMAN, DIRECTOR OF THEFT TREATMENT PROGRAM, CLERMONT COUNSELING CENTER, BATAVIA, OHIO
DEAR SUSAN: I bow to your expertise. Your advice supports what many readers wrote. They said I was too easy on both the thief and her brother, who brushed off his sister's wrongdoing.
To "Sleepless," I amend my advice to include giving serious consideration to filing charges.