DEAR ABBY: I always like to tell a joke to every new person I meet or correspond with. A wise man once said that a good laugh does a body as much good as five tablespoons of bran flakes.
I'd like to offer this one:
An old Texas farmer climbed into his pickup truck and went to town to buy groceries. There was a stop sign at the main highway, but he just slowed down, looked both ways, then took off like a shot. Unfortunately for him, one day the sheriff saw him and pulled him over.
"Sir," said the sheriff, "that is a full-stop sign."
"Son," said the farmer, "I've been doing this for 20 years and have yet to have an accident. There's not a bit of difference between 'stop' and 'slow down.'"
"Well, sir," said the sheriff, "I'm going to show you the difference." He hauled out his nightstick and began beating the poor farmer on both shoulders.
"Now, sir," said the sheriff, "do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?"
God loves you, Abby, and so do I. -- LONGTIME READER, JOHN J. TUOHY
DEAR JOHN: I always thought "STOP" meant "slowly tap on pedal." (Just kidding.)