DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Sitting on the Sidelines in New York," whose husband leaves her sitting at the table and dances with every other woman in the room, disregards the fact that she is upset. The reason she is upset -- jealousy, insecurity or whatever -- is unimportant.
If her husband loves her, he'll recognize that his behavior bothers her and change it, or compromise. Otherwise, he is being selfish and having his fun at her expense. It doesn't matter how good he is otherwise, what other people say, or even if his wife's complaints are unjustified. She is upset -- and it needs to be dealt with.
Yes, "Sitting on the Sidelines" should learn to dance is she doesn't know how. Maybe she also needs to work on her self-esteem. But when a partner in a relationship fails to change hurtful behavior, the couple is heading for trouble. I know. I've been there, and the woman I still love is no longer with me because I didn't act on it.
You men out there (and women), please listen to me: If it's hurting your partner and you truly love that person, then stop what you're doing. Discuss it with him or her and solve the problems to your mutual satisfaction. Otherwise, you may find yourself alone. -- LOST MY LADY
DEAR LOST MY LADY: "Sitting on the Sidelines" indicated that her husband is an otherwise affectionate and attentive partner. As you point out, however, he is not perfect. If he were, he would have done exactly as you recommend. You have learned a very valuable lesson, and I thank you for passing it on.