DEAR ABBY: My mother and father divorced about 10 years ago, after almost 30 years of marriage. The divorce was nasty and painful for everyone involved. There are still unresolved issues and bad feelings.
My mother and my father's mother were very close until the divorce. After that, my mother no longer felt she belonged in the family. They have sent each other occasional birthday cards and have seen each other about three times over the last 10 years.
My paternal grandmother is now in her late 80s, and although she is still in fairly good health, one never knows when her time will come. My question: Should my mother attend the funeral even though my father will be there with his girlfriend? -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR STUCK: Bearing in mind that your grandmother may have many good years ahead of her, the decision is entirely your mother's. If she feels like attending the funeral and paying her respects (when the time comes), there's no reason why she shouldn't.