Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
STUDENT WHO IS CHOSEN LAST DREADS GOING TO GYM CLASS
DEAR ABBY: I am 10 years old and in fifth grade. All my life I have been chosen last. That's my problem.
P.E. is my least favorite class in school, not because I don't like sports -- I enjoy them. But it is so humiliating always being chosen last. I dread going to school on days when I know we will have P.E.
Why can't physical education teachers use a different system? P.E. teachers must have never had to experience what I have each day in P.E. I will go into the class again tomorrow to be chosen last.
Why don't they just hang a sign on me that says, "Reject. Last one to pick gets me."
I'm sure there are other kids who feel the same way. There is one in every P.E. class. It really hurts.
My mom says not to let it bother me. She says she was always chosen last, too. I think she says that just to make me feel better.
Please don't say, "Practice the sport and you'll be great at it and everyone will want you on their team." It doesn't work that way. I'm kind of quiet, and even if you're not bad at the sport, once you've been chosen last you will be last next week, the week after, and next year, too.
I really, really, really hope you print this. I can't bear to think I have to go to P.E. tomorrow. What can I do? -- ALWAYS CHOSEN LAST, SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
DEAR ALWAYS CHOSEN LAST: Perhaps there is nothing you can do, but there is plenty your P.E. teacher could do if he or she had the sensitivity and imagination.
If I had my way, I would outlaw that system of choosing up sides. It's cruel! It was used many years ago when I was a girl in Sioux City, Iowa. It was wrong then, and it's still wrong!
DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help me with my problem. I talk to myself. I have always done this to some extent, just like my mother did, but I'm afraid it's getting worse since my husband died six months ago.
I live alone with my little dog, but I don't feel lonely. I like people very much and have no trouble visiting with them when the opportunity presents itself.
I am 73 years old. Is talking to yourself a sign of senility? Or am I losing my mind? I'm sure I do this in stores when shopping alone (not out loud, but my lips probably move), which is embarrassing. How serious is this? -- CHATTY CATHERINE, NASHVILLE, TENN.
DEAR CHATTY CATHERINE: I wouldn't consider this a serious problem. I'll wager most people have at least an occasional chat with their most constant companion -- themselves.
A widow once wrote, "I talk to myself whenever I feel the need for intelligent conversation."
DEAR ABBY: I am responding to "Best Friends in Kennesaw, Ga.," the young woman who wanted to be "best man" in her friend's wedding.
I became engaged to a caring, loving, hard-working man who treated me like a queen. I asked my best friend of many years to be my maid of honor. She refused because my fiance and I are of different faiths and she couldn't support our marriage.
I was devastated, but a male friend stepped in and helped me through. He had always been supportive, and I was proud to have him stand up for me in my wedding because he really cared about me. Friends have no gender. "Thomas" was my "Best Man of Honor." -- H.R., MELBOURNE, FLA.
DEAR H.R.: Congratulations for making a choice that was right for you. Several readers have suggested names for wedding party members of the opposite sex. My favorite was "Bride's (or Groom's) Honor Attendant."
Office Workers Using Phones Should Be Seen and Not Heard
DEAR ABBY: I work in a large office where people are clustered into numerous "pods." These groupings are separated only by partitions. We use speaker phones that allow us to converse without lifting the handset.
Some of the people never pick up their handsets. Instead, they yell into the speaker so the caller can hear them. They turn the volume up as loud as it will go so they can hear their party anywhere in the office. This is very disturbing to those who are trying to concentrate on their work.
Many of these same people use the speakers to retrieve long personal messages from their voice mail.
I am offended when my co-workers are too lazy to pick up their phones. Certainly, hands-free has its benefits, but where do you draw the line? Abby, what is the proper etiquette in this situation? -- FRAZZLED IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRAZZLED: No one should use the telephone in a manner that disturbs those nearby. Talk to your supervisor about the disruption and ask that a company policy be formulated and given to employees. Offer to help write the policy and to hold a training session on telephone etiquette should management deem this a good idea.
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Greg" for almost a year. He is 32 and I am 27. For the last three months, Greg has been pressuring me to move in with him. Every time he brings it up, I change the subject.
He began our last conversation with me by saying, "So, when are you moving in?" I told him I can't move in with him unless we are married. He became angry and said, "Marriage is only a piece of paper."
I said it's the only right thing to do. We haven't spoken since.
At this point, I don't know what to do. Please help me. -- OLD-FASHIONED IN L.A.
DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: From my perspective, you have done everything right. You have made your position clear. Now stick to your guns.
Greg will either come around and decide to marry you, or he won't. If he doesn't, consider yourself lucky to have come to your senses before investing any more time with a man whose values differ so greatly from your own.
DEAR ABBY: In the scheme of things, this is not a big deal, but we would like to share with your readers a pet peeve that we jewelers have.
Sometimes customers come into our store for repairs and have trouble removing a tight ring, so they lick their fingers to facilitate its removal. This is gross!
How would you like to be handed a spittle-filled ring and then have to examine it to determine what repairs are necessary?
Jewelers have lubricants available for ring removal, and it is not necessary to share your spit -- not to mention germs -- with us.
Abby, on behalf of jewelers everywhere, we hope you print this. -- FED UP WITH SPIT IN WHITEFISH BAY, WIS.
DEAR FED UP: While this may not be the most appetizing letter I've ever received, it is a problem for jewelers that deserves to be addressed: Readers, if your ring is so tight you must lick your finger in order to remove it, it's time to have it resized, or retire it. Jewelers, place your lubricant in an obvious location where customers can't miss it. Put a sign by it, if necessary, explaining its purpose.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: Today is Thanksgiving Day, so here's my traditional Thanksgiving column.
Take a few minutes to think about what you have to be thankful for.
How's your health? Not so good? Well, thank God you've lived this long. A lot of people haven't. You're hurting? Thousands -- maybe millions -- are hurting more. (Have you ever visited a veterans hospital? Or a rehabilitation clinic for crippled children?)
If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, walk to the breakfast table on two good legs and read the newspaper with two good eyes, praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't.
How's your pocketbook? Thin? Well, most of the world is a lot poorer. No pensions. No welfare. No food stamps. No Social Security. In fact, one-third of the people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight.
Are you lonely? The way to have a friend is to be one. If nobody calls you, call someone. Go out of your way to do something nice for somebody. It's a sure cure for the blues.
Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern -- concern for fair play under the law. Your country may not be a rose garden, but it also is not a patch of weeds.
Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can still worship at the church of your choice, cast a secret ballot, and even criticize your government without fearing a knock on the head or a knock on the door at midnight. And if you want to live under a different system, you are free to go. There are no walls or fences -- nothing to keep you here.
As a final thought, I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer; perhaps you will want to use it at your table today:
O, heavenly Father,
We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service.
That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may God bless you and yours. -- LOVE, ABBY
An afterthought: Want an instant high? The surest cure for the post-holiday blues is to do something nice for someone. Why not call someone who lives alone and invite him (or her) over for dinner?
Better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." (Many older people don't drive, and those who do don't like to go out alone after dark.)
Try it. And let me know the results.
P.S. Special greetings to those of you in the military who wrote from remote corners of the world to tell me that you are using my Thanksgiving prayer on this Thanksgiving Day.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)