DEAR ABBY: In reply to the advice you gave to "Feeling Unloved in St. Cloud, Minn.," whose husband wouldn't touch her unless he had a drink first -- I'd like to share the other perspective:
While she likes to tie quitting drinking to her husband's reluctance to show his feelings, she is only partially correct.
One of the greatest fears people have is rejection. Rejection by the one you love is even worse. She should know that -- she feels it! Imagine what it is like for her husband, who awakened several times in the night to find his wife out of the bed -- and in another bedroom. Talk about rejection!
The reason he doesn't come to her bed for sex is he doesn't want MORE rejection. Only when he takes a drink does the fear subside.
If she wants sex, why doesn't she go to his bed? I've never yet seen a man refuse a woman's advances. She should be glad he hasn't moved out. Most men would nowadays.
Someday when she's a widow, she can look back at all the nights she didn't hear and feel him in bed next to her. I know. I'm a "Minnesota Twin" to this guy. -- MINNESOTA TWIN IN BEAVER CREEK
DEAR MINNESOTA TWIN: Thank you for stepping up to the plate to tell this unhappy wife where she's striking out. Several other readers have voiced the same opinion.