DEAR ABBY: As a gentleman, I greet other men with a firm handshake. However, over the years I have found that most women do not care to shake hands with men or women.
Occasionally, a woman will offer a hand to shake, but in a very feminine way. The women who do offer a hand tend to be middle-aged or professional women who are accustomed to formality. Older and young women usually do not offer to shake hands. Once I asked a woman why she chose not to, and she replied, "It's a guy thing."
Some women roll their eyes and grudgingly give me a light handshake, apparently just to appease me.
Recently, however, I greeted a woman by just saying, "Hello, I'm pleased to meet you." To my surprise, she offered her hand, so I shook it with medium firmness. She said, "Come on, give me a real shake."
Since I have been rebuffed so much in the past, I no longer extend my hand unless the woman does so first, but how do I know whether to shake a lady's hand firmly or lightly? -- ON SHAKY GROUND, LOS ANGELES
DEAR ON SHAKY GROUND: To be on the safe side, do not offer your hand until the lady has indicated she wishes to use this form of greeting. Then take the middle road and shake her hand with medium firmness.