Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
INTERN SPEAKS OUT OF TURN ABOUT PHARMACY CUSTOMERS
DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Angela in Savannah," the pharmacy intern who's disgusted with customers who are, in her opinion, abusing Medicaid and ignorant about using their medications correctly.
If she spends many years working with low-income people, as I have, she may discover that a little compassion goes a long way. I am a social worker in a medical setting, and I think Angela has jumped to some faulty conclusions.
What is wrong with our health-care system that a poor mother (who may not have money in her pocket for food, let alone cough syrup) can get expensive prescription cough syrup for free under Medicaid, but must pay $3.99 out of pocket for an over-the-counter equivalent? Narcotics have many legitimate uses. If a customer has a valid prescription for a narcotic, but no money to pay for it, should he be looked down upon for hoping he can pay with food stamps?
And as for Angela's statement that some people are so uneducated they don't know how to take the medicine, what the heck is the pharmacist there for? Those of us who are fortunate enough to be well educated are continually advised that, if there are questions regarding proper use of a medication, we should ask the pharmacist.
Have a heart, Angela; lose the attitude, and let's all try to help such people instead of condemning them. -- DEBBIE IN HIGHWOOD, ILL.
DEAR DEBBIE: You are not the only reader who disapproved of Angela's lack of compassion for the people she is serving. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from the pharmacy intern in Savannah, I had to write.
On what basis is she deciding in her brief encounters with customers across the counter that they have preventable illnesses that could be cured by over-the-counter drugs? Most doctors would not be pleased to know she is diagnosing on limited information and experience.
If people are "uneducated" in taking medicines, a primary function of the pharmacist is to provide information, to educate. Most of the fine pharmacists I have dealt with value this aspect of their work.
Yes, there are 12-year-olds who get pregnant and who can't read. Should we have compassion or contempt for them? And what kind of "insider information" allows this intern to sort out the motives of those who apply for menial jobs at the pharmacy where she's working? Yes, there are some abusers of programs, and they should be found out and stopped by those qualified to do so.
I don't know what kind of life background this young intern had, but I would guess it was insular, and encouraged her to be judgmental and intolerant. She needs to seriously consider some other line of work that does not require her to serve people who are in painful and difficult situations. -- RETIRED MENTAL HEALTH WORKER
DEAR ABBY: The recent letter you published from the pharmacy intern, Angela, has me seeing RED!
While I agree that millions of people abuse the medical system in the United States, for many others it is the only way to get the medical attention they need. It's a disgrace that people must use overcrowded emergency rooms for mundane illnesses such as colds (have you ever had a sick child who is having trouble breathing?) just so Medicaid will pay for it. Has it ever occurred to you or Angela that these people have no other means for medical treatment? The $3.99 the cough syrup costs could mean the difference in whether the family eats or not!
Instead of whining about how people abuse the system, we need to work to make the system better. We all know it would be far less expensive to have Medicaid pay for the doctors' office visits instead of emergency rooms.
With her lack of compassion for the human race, I'm relieved that Angela decided to be a pharmacist instead of an M.D. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, WASH.
Little Bit of Compassion Goes Long Way for Accident Victim
DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, I was a reasonably good-looking 27-year-old woman. Then I survived a very serious automobile accident. Despite numerous surgeries, my face was badly scarred.
Before the accident, I was fairly popular and had plenty of dates. But after the accident, I was not prepared for the reaction I would get from people. Although I bend over backward to be friendly, nobody (including co-workers) spends any more time with me than is necessary. I'm never asked to join them for lunch. It's as though they are embarrassed to be seen with me.
I live in Los Angeles and because of my job, I meet many celebrities. Most seem a bit shocked when they first see me, but they are at least courteous.
However, there are three people who not only never flinched when they met me; they went out of their way to be friendly and make me feel comfortable.
They are former president Jimmy Carter, and two actors, Paul Newman and John Travolta. These three men are heroes in my book, and I shall never forget their kindness. -- FOREVER GRATEFUL IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR FOREVER GRATEFUL: Thank you for sharing your poignant story with me so I could share it with my readers.
God bless Carter, Newman and Travolta. In spite of their celebrity status, they have remained sensitive and compassionate. We would all do well to follow their admirable example.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Depressed in Dixie," the mother concerned about her 25-year-old son marrying a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When my never-before-married husband took my 4-year-old daughter (Jessica) and me to meet his family for the first time, they accepted us with all the grace and love possible. They had gifts every time we visited. If they had reservations about our marriage, they kept it to themselves. After our own two children came along, they continued to treat Jessica as if she were their very own.
Sixteen years later, she is a bright, happy, beautiful college junior with three grandmothers (all widows), and I dare say she loves her "step" granny as much as her "real" ones. Some of Jessica's happiest memories from her childhood are summer weekends at her granny's farm, taking walks, going out to the barn, or playing waitress taking lunch orders from a grandmother with never-ending patience.
"Depressed in Dixie," you will be the loser if you allow your fears to keep you from knowing and loving a beautiful "step" grandchild. Any problems will be for your son and his wife to deal with. All you have to do is provide love. -- BLESSED IN DIXIE, A.K.A. SYDNEY FULBRIGHT, FORT SMITH, ARK.
DEAR BLESSED IN DIXIE: The mail inspired by the letter from "Depressed in Dixie" was heartwarming. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Depressed in Dixie," whose son decided to marry a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When I was 4 1/2 years old, my father died, leaving a wife and three children. My mother eventually remarried, and I called Mom's new husband "Dad" from that day forward. He didn't have to be dragged into this role. His love for my mother and all of us kids is why he married her! The interesting thing is that Dad had been married before and had six children of his own, but he still treated us special, as though we were his flesh and blood.
I just want to tell "Depressed" that I don't know where I would be if Dad hadn't married my mom because she had been married and had children. It would have been selfish of either of them to deny their love for each other just because of a child.
Oh, and one more thing, "Depressed," I thank God every day for bringing my Dad into my life. -- HAPPY AND LOVED NINTH CHILD IN AURORA
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include our name, area code and telephone number.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Pharmacy Directions Prove Laughter Isn't Best Medicine
DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Angela," the disgusted young woman in Savannah who has recently started to work as an intern in a pharmacy.
I am sure some of her frustration is legitimate, but in one paragraph she stated that some people are so uneducated they don't know how to take medicine. ("Have you ever known anyone to eat a suppository?")
It could happen! This is what happened to me. I was given a prescription for rectal suppositories by my doctor. I had the prescription filled at the pharmacy and was handed a paper bag stapled shut with the sheet of directions attached to the outside of the bag.
When I arrived home I opened the bag and read the directions. It said, "Insert one suppository by mouth twice daily for seven days." The same directions were printed on the label affixed to the box.
I took the direction sheet back to the pharmacy and told the pharmacist I was having a little problem following the directions. She looked at the directions, said, "Oh, my," and went immediately to the computer. Evidently that particular medication had been entered into the computer so that every time they keyed in the name, it printed out the wrong directions. Who knows how many people had received the same directions!
One of the assistants at the pharmacy said, "The FIRST direction should have been to remove the foil." We had a good laugh, but it goes to show that even educated people can get confused. -- SHELDA MILLER, EXETER, MO.
DEAR SHELDA: Although I found it hard to believe that anyone would eat a suppository or not know how to use one, evidently misunderstandings are more common than I had imagined. While these anecdotes may appear funny, ignorance in such matters is beyond laughter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Please tell that young pharmacy intern that she is in the wrong profession.
I know. I have been in it for 46 years and have seen just about everything. (Have you ever heard of anyone inserting a rectal suppository without removing the foil in which it is wrapped?)
That young pharmacist should keep a journal, and maybe someday she can write a book. I wish I had. Sign me ... AN OLD PILL ROLLER, SPARTANBURG, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: "Angela in Savannah" wrote to ask if you had ever heard of anyone eating a suppository.
Well, I can top that. I work in a pharmacy and was instructed that we should emphasize the fact that the foil wrapping must be removed before inserting a suppository. -- DIANNE IN DALLAS
DEAR DIANNE: Thanks for writing. If I ever get around to writing a book titled "Now I've Heard Everything," I will include this one.
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from Autumn R. Vogel, and I couldn't agree with her more. Men who whistle and yell at women on the street are not only rude, but put women in an uncomfortable, if not frightening, position.
I have to relate one incident where the men probably felt as ignorant as they sounded. I was walking down a busy street on my lunch hour when a car approached from behind and the men started to whistle and shout, "Hey, Baby!" As they started to pass me, they became dead silent. You see, I was seven months pregnant at the time!
I'll never forget the looks on their faces! My daughter is 16 years old now, and loves to hear how she helped me put these jerks in their places. Sign me ... HEY BABY-BABY! SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
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