DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Depressed in Dixie," the mother concerned about her 25-year-old son marrying a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When my never-before-married husband took my 4-year-old daughter (Jessica) and me to meet his family for the first time, they accepted us with all the grace and love possible. They had gifts every time we visited. If they had reservations about our marriage, they kept it to themselves. After our own two children came along, they continued to treat Jessica as if she were their very own.
Sixteen years later, she is a bright, happy, beautiful college junior with three grandmothers (all widows), and I dare say she loves her "step" granny as much as her "real" ones. Some of Jessica's happiest memories from her childhood are summer weekends at her granny's farm, taking walks, going out to the barn, or playing waitress taking lunch orders from a grandmother with never-ending patience.
"Depressed in Dixie," you will be the loser if you allow your fears to keep you from knowing and loving a beautiful "step" grandchild. Any problems will be for your son and his wife to deal with. All you have to do is provide love. -- BLESSED IN DIXIE, A.K.A. SYDNEY FULBRIGHT, FORT SMITH, ARK.
DEAR BLESSED IN DIXIE: The mail inspired by the letter from "Depressed in Dixie" was heartwarming. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Depressed in Dixie," whose son decided to marry a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When I was 4 1/2 years old, my father died, leaving a wife and three children. My mother eventually remarried, and I called Mom's new husband "Dad" from that day forward. He didn't have to be dragged into this role. His love for my mother and all of us kids is why he married her! The interesting thing is that Dad had been married before and had six children of his own, but he still treated us special, as though we were his flesh and blood.
I just want to tell "Depressed" that I don't know where I would be if Dad hadn't married my mom because she had been married and had children. It would have been selfish of either of them to deny their love for each other just because of a child.
Oh, and one more thing, "Depressed," I thank God every day for bringing my Dad into my life. -- HAPPY AND LOVED NINTH CHILD IN AURORA