DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man in my mid-20s. I have known that I am gay for as long as I can remember. It is only recently that I have started to accept it. The catch is that I have a girlfriend.
We have been best friends since we were kids, and have tried a serious romantic relationship several times. She is aware of my past struggles in dealing with my sexuality, but she believes we have gotten past it (because I led her to believe that). It was not easy on her before, and I'm sure it won't be easy a second time.
I know she truly loves me and wants to be with me the rest of our lives. I love her, too, and can't imagine her not being a part of my life, but as much as I want to, I cannot make my feelings cross over into the realm of romance -- because I'm gay.
Abby, I want to have a house, kids, a station wagon and a family dog. If I stay in this relationship, I'm sure I can have these things and maybe in time I will learn to be content. However, I'm wondering if maybe I should be honest with her -- and everyone else. I hesitate because she's been through so much already, and I don't want to lose my best friend.
Abby, how can I tell her without losing her? -- LIVING A LIE
DEAR LIVING A LIE: You may be able to tolerate living a lie, but it's unfair to everyone with whom you are involved. Show your girlfriend this letter and tell her that you wrote it.