DEAR ABBY: My friend "Lucy" has been dating "Mark" for two years, and they just got engaged.
After several outings at the beginning of their relationship, I decided that I didn't like Mark. I thought the way he treated Lucy and me was rude and obnoxious. I told Lucy that I wouldn't socialize with Mark anymore and told her my reason.
Now that Lucy and Mark are engaged to be married, however, she keeps pushing me to meet him again, saying I never gave him a fair chance. I stand by my decision. When she asked what would happen when she married him, I told her I would be cordial, but if she expected me to come over for dinner or to play bridge with him, I wouldn't. I don't like Mark and he doesn't like me.
Then Lucy dropped a bomb. Abby, she says if I won't accept Mark, then I am abusing her and our friendship. I was floored. How am I supposed to respond to that? -- ABUSER OR ABUSED?
DEAR ABUSER OR ABUSED: You are abusing neither Lucy nor the friendship. Your opinion of him clearly hasn't influenced her decision -- Lucy and Mark are now engaged. Since tolerating Mark is now a condition of your continued friendship with Lucy, you must decide whether you're willing to pay that price.