For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Sex Advice in Magazines Offers Useful Help to Some
DEAR ABBY: May I offer a slightly different point of view regarding "D.S.'s" comments in your column about explicit articles in women's magazines?
As a therapist, I have treated a number of lonely, socially inadequate men and women who have had little social contact with others and lack the skills to develop warm and sexually satisfying relationships. Some of these people have physical disabilities; some are excessively shy, withdrawn or physically unattractive. It is this population, and many of us who are seeking a little escape -- and yes, even titillation (heaven forbid!) -- who read the articles in women's magazines. Personally, I have seen articles that were helpful to women who have had very little exposure to the nuances of their sexuality. In fact, I have recommended several of these articles to clients because they normalize sexuality.
I say to women who are offended by these articles, "Don't buy the magazines." There's room for all kinds of people in this world. What could be more positive than reading about love and sex?
It is my hope that those obsessed with pornographic reading material seek therapy, for that obsession is extreme behavior which indicates the need for intervention. I suggest that "D.S.'s" overly concerned response to magazine articles is indicative of her own problems.
Thank you for giving me a forum. It galls me to see repression by people who need to "get a life." -- BARBARA ROSENKRANTZ, M.A.
DEAR MS. ROSENKRANTZ: Your letter was a breath of fresh air. Obviously a great many readers are interested in the information that frank articles about sex provide, which is the reason publishers are doing such a land-office business at supermarkets.
Only when readers demonstrate that those articles are no longer of interest will the contents of magazines change.
DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with a man my age (40) who has never asked me out. He calls me occasionally and always returns my calls and seems glad to hear from me. He has turned down every invitation I've extended -- with legitimate excuses but no rain checks. He has never mentioned another woman but appears jealous if I mention a man.
I've been a "friend" long enough -- I want more. I've done everything except tell him how I feel. I have been overweight most of the 12 years I have known him, and wonder if this could be the reason he isn't pursuing me. Or is it possible he just hasn't caught on?
Please think hard on this one, Abby, because I've been trying to reel this man in for a very long time. -- GETTING IMPATIENT
DEAR IMPATIENT: If he hasn't responded in 12 years, he's not likely to start now. It's obvious that he regards you as a friend, and nothing more.
If you're willing to settle for friendship, stick around. Otherwise, go fishing in other waters, and you just might come up with the catch of the day.
Flu Shots Make Good Sense for Both the Young and Old
DEAR ABBY: Influenza, which can be prevented by a simple vaccination, kills as many as 40,000 people each year in the United States. Won't you remind your readers that October to mid-November is the ideal time to receive a "flu" (influenza) shot?
Although flu shots are recommended for all seniors (65 and over), many younger readers should roll up their sleeves, too. Flu shots are also recommended for any person with a chronic illness (such as heart disease, asthma or other lung disease, diabetes and kidney disease), as well as for adults who live or work with people who are at risk for influenza. Flu shots can be given to anyone, including healthy adults who want to reduce the likelihood of becoming ill with influenza this season.
While your readers are requesting their flu shots, they should also ask their physicians if they need a "pneumonia shot." Pneumococcal disease kills about 40,000 people each year in the United States. A one-time "pneumonia shot" is recommended for all adults 65 and over -- yet less than one-third of these adults have been vaccinated against this disease.
If your readers would like to receive brochures about additional vaccinations that are recommended for adults, they should send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to: The Immunization Action Coalition, P.O. Box 4627, St. Paul, Minn. 55104.
Flu season is rapidly approaching. It doesn't matter how old you are. Getting immunized is a lifelong, life-protecting job. Don't leave your clinic without making sure you've received all the shots you need. If you don't have a doctor, call your public health department to find out where you can go for shots. -- DEBORAH WEXLER, M.D., EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, IMMUNIZATION ACTION COALITION, ST. PAUL
DEAR DR. WEXLER: Thank you for an important reminder to my readers. According to a recent statement by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the strain of flu virus expected this year is more dangerous than last year's and can lead to deadly complications in elderly people. The current vaccine being offered is effective against this virus and several other strains that are also expected.
Readers, I had my flu shot last week, and my pneumonia shot last December. Both were quick and virtually painless, not to mention cheap and effective health insurance. Don't put it off.
DEAR ABBY: A year ago I agreed to be in the wedding of a former college roommate. Our relationship is not as close today as it was when she asked me. We've had some disagreements and seldom talk to each other now.
Please tell me how I can gracefully get out of being in her wedding. I know that she has several friends who are now closer to her than I am.
Please hurry your answer. -- PERPLEXED
DEAR PERPLEXED: Call her immediately and tell her exactly what you have told me. Considering the circumstances, I think she will appreciate your candor.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Balloons Make Good Decorations but Shouldn't Be Used as Toys
DEAR ABBY: I have read with interest your columns about balloons being hazardous to animals. Balloons can be an even greater hazard to small children. Please address this issue in your column. It may save a life and a lot of heartache.
I have been an emergency room nurse for 27 years. In the last three months, I have seen two children die from ingesting latex balloons. They chew, play with and put deflated (or partially deflated) balloons in their mouths. They accidentally swallow them, choke, aspirate and die.
The balloon gets stuck in the child's throat. Parents are usually unable to resuscitate these children because it's too late by the time they realize what has happened and call for help. How sad for a child to die from something that was once so cheerful.
Parents, beware. Although they are festive decorations, balloons should not be kept after a party because they make very dangerous toys. The results can be lethal. -- NANCY CORTE, R.N., CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MICH.
DEAR NANCY: Thank you for an important letter, one that may save many young lives. The day after it arrived, I received a second warning concerning balloons from a medical professional. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for standing your ground in your reply to the balloon industry regarding the dangers that balloons pose to wildlife. Latex balloons also pose a very real risk of aspiration and sudden death to children.
Consider these scenarios: The curious 1-year-old finds a latex balloon, puts it in her mouth (as she does everything else she finds) and "POP!"; she gasps and some or all of the latex shreds enter her airway. Or the active 7-year-old at a birthday party doing four things at once -- running, jumping, talking, blowing up a latex balloon. He trips, balloon in mouth, and suddenly the balloon is in his windpipe.
The nature of the material -- very light, flexible and sticky when wet -- causes it to adhere to the inside of the airway. If it happens to completely obstruct the passage of air, the child is dead within minutes.
We, and many other hospitals, have banned the use of latex balloons -- only Mylar balloons are allowed.
Now, if we can only convince people to stop using latex GLOVES as balloons to distract children while they're sitting in the waiting room ... ROBERT DIXON, M.D., EGLESTON CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, ATLANTA
DEAR ABBY: About 40 years ago, I wrote you a letter in fun saying, "My boyfriend, Bill, bought me an electric blanket with dual controls for Christmas ... what do you think he had in mind?"
You returned my letter on which you had written in red ink: "Marriage, I hope!"
Well, Bill and I were married that March and had 37 happy years together before I lost him in 1995 on St. Valentine's Day. I thought it would please you to know that he carried that letter in his billfold all those years.
Thanks for the memories. -- MARIE WILLIAMS, LEBANON, MO.
DEAR MARIE: And thank you for sharing them.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)