To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Balloons Make Good Decorations but Shouldn't Be Used as Toys
DEAR ABBY: I have read with interest your columns about balloons being hazardous to animals. Balloons can be an even greater hazard to small children. Please address this issue in your column. It may save a life and a lot of heartache.
I have been an emergency room nurse for 27 years. In the last three months, I have seen two children die from ingesting latex balloons. They chew, play with and put deflated (or partially deflated) balloons in their mouths. They accidentally swallow them, choke, aspirate and die.
The balloon gets stuck in the child's throat. Parents are usually unable to resuscitate these children because it's too late by the time they realize what has happened and call for help. How sad for a child to die from something that was once so cheerful.
Parents, beware. Although they are festive decorations, balloons should not be kept after a party because they make very dangerous toys. The results can be lethal. -- NANCY CORTE, R.N., CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MICH.
DEAR NANCY: Thank you for an important letter, one that may save many young lives. The day after it arrived, I received a second warning concerning balloons from a medical professional. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for standing your ground in your reply to the balloon industry regarding the dangers that balloons pose to wildlife. Latex balloons also pose a very real risk of aspiration and sudden death to children.
Consider these scenarios: The curious 1-year-old finds a latex balloon, puts it in her mouth (as she does everything else she finds) and "POP!"; she gasps and some or all of the latex shreds enter her airway. Or the active 7-year-old at a birthday party doing four things at once -- running, jumping, talking, blowing up a latex balloon. He trips, balloon in mouth, and suddenly the balloon is in his windpipe.
The nature of the material -- very light, flexible and sticky when wet -- causes it to adhere to the inside of the airway. If it happens to completely obstruct the passage of air, the child is dead within minutes.
We, and many other hospitals, have banned the use of latex balloons -- only Mylar balloons are allowed.
Now, if we can only convince people to stop using latex GLOVES as balloons to distract children while they're sitting in the waiting room ... ROBERT DIXON, M.D., EGLESTON CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, ATLANTA
DEAR ABBY: About 40 years ago, I wrote you a letter in fun saying, "My boyfriend, Bill, bought me an electric blanket with dual controls for Christmas ... what do you think he had in mind?"
You returned my letter on which you had written in red ink: "Marriage, I hope!"
Well, Bill and I were married that March and had 37 happy years together before I lost him in 1995 on St. Valentine's Day. I thought it would please you to know that he carried that letter in his billfold all those years.
Thanks for the memories. -- MARIE WILLIAMS, LEBANON, MO.
DEAR MARIE: And thank you for sharing them.
Woman Who Has Fallen Off Wagon Needs Help Back On
DEAR ABBY: I have a very dear friend who is an alcoholic. "Elsa" went through the 12-step program a few years ago and has been dry since her recovery began. We rarely see each other, but we talk on the phone regularly.
In the last few months, when we chat I have the uncomfortable feeling that Elsa is drinking again. I have not said anything to her (or anyone else) because there is no way I can be sure.
Several weeks ago, a mutual friend asked me if I thought Elsa might be drinking. When I asked why, she told me she, too, had noticed Elsa slurring her words, repeating herself, and becoming very argumentative.
I know I should approach my friend with my suspicions, but I cannot seem to find the words. We have been friends since we were very young, and I'm afraid I will lose her friendship if I confront her.
Should I confront her? If so, please help me find a tactful way to do it. -- A FRIEND WHO CARES
DEAR FRIEND: Be completely honest with your friend. Tell her that you love her, that you are concerned that she has resumed her drinking, and urge her to get back on the program. She needs to hear this from someone she knows is a caring friend.
DEAR ABBY: A friend sent me a clipping of a column you wrote in 1987. It appeared in The Daily Times in Pryor, Okla. I thought it was great.
Will you kindly run it again? -- FAITHFUL READER, GLENDALE, ARIZ.
DEAR READER: Thanks for sending it. I agree it merits a second time around:
DEAR ABBY: I am enclosing several quotes from famous people. You may want to pass these along to your readers. I clipped this from the Arizona Republic in Phoenix. If you run this in your column, perhaps it might make some of us feel we are not all that stupid. Thank you. -- JOHN NESBIT, PHOENIX
DEAR JOHN: We can all use a little reassurance. These quotes reaffirm the fact that what may appear sensible at the time can be ludicrous later. For example:
-- "Everything that can be invented has already been invented." (Charles H. Duell, director of the U.S. Patent Office, 1899)
-- "Who the hell wants to hear actors TALK?" (Harry M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927)
-- "Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote." (Grover Cleveland, 1905)
-- "There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom." (Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923)
-- "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." (Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895)
-- "Babe Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching." (Tris Speaker, 1921)
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I am part of a support group on the Internet via e-mail for self-mutilators -- people who cut themselves, beat themselves, etc. All of us are survivors of abuse. We don't do this to get attention, despite what many people may think. It is an effort to turn unbearable emotional agony into bearable physical pain. People who mutilate themselves are also depressed and, while some of the comments made in our chat room would make a "normal" person call the asylum, most of us barely bat an eye.
We have created a supportive atmosphere where people can communicate with others who care about them and understand what they are going through, or just rant if they need to.
Today a friend of mine from the chat room was hospitalized for severe depression. I was devastated because we had been corresponding and supporting each other through similar difficulties. He had discussed "running away," but thanks to the people from the e-mail group, he is now safely in the hospital.
Abby, self-mutilation is so often misunderstood. People don't want to talk or even think about it. Knowing that I'm not the only person who does it has made me feel a lot better. I, too, am experiencing major depression, and a friend of mine from the group e-mailed me into the wee hours of one suicidal morning, until she was certain I was going to be all right. We are so far apart geographically, but on the Internet, I and others like me can find people who are experiencing what we are going through and we can help each other.
If it hadn't been for the Internet, I would not have learned more about my self-mutilating behavior and would never have gained the support I needed to survive. People should not condemn or fear a technological advance that has just saved someone's life.
I apologize for the length of my letter. Because of the help I have received from people I have never seen face-to-face, I hope to overcome my need for pain and abuse. With their help and support, someday I may even make it to my senior year of high school. Sign me ... HEALING
DEAR HEALING: Thank you for an honest letter, and for explaining a behavior that few individuals understand. I hope that with professional help and the support of the members of your chat room, you will achieve complete recovery. In your case, the Internet and e-mail are a powerful complement to therapy. The best of luck to you.
DEAR ABBY: I know many people appreciate the good work you do, but I am sending you a special thanks.
On July 25, I read a letter in your column from John Hardaway, who discovered he had severe cardiovascular disease. He was especially surprised because he was a daily runner and thought he was in excellent health. The symptoms he experienced were not classic warning signs of a heart attack, so he had not been paying them much attention.
On July 21 (the Sunday before your Thursday column appeared), I began experiencing pain in my breast bone. It always went away after I took antacids. This continued well into the week. On Thursday night the pain did not abate, even after six tablets. Remembering what I had read in your column that morning, I decided to take a trip to the emergency room. On Saturday, July 27, I underwent angioplasty for an artery that was 90 percent blocked!
Had I not read your column I could have suffered dire consequences. Thank you from the bottom of my much-healthier heart. -- SAM DILLER, BLUFFTON, OHIO
DEAR SAM: I'm pleased that a letter you read in my column helped save you from "dire consequences." Your letter did my heart a world of good. It made my day. Thank you for writing.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)