To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Reducing Volume of Junk Mail Helps to Preserve Environment
DEAR ABBY: All of us are disgusted with the amount of junk mail we receive. But it wasn't until I researched a speech for one of my classes that I realized the impact junk mail has had on our environment. Americans receive almost 2 million tons of junk mail daily! Fifty percent of it is never opened. That fact struck a chord with me. Now I'm making an effort to stop my junk mail.
I'd like to share some methods that work: First, contact an organization that provides the service of removing your name from mailing lists. Also, when you order anything (or receive junk mail that includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope), send a written request that the organization or company not add your name to its mailing list except for specific billing purposes related to your account. Also, state that you do not want your name given or sold to any other mailing lists, now or in the future.
To halt the delivery of catalogs, I have written a form letter on my computer and just fill in the new address, date it and drop it in the mail. It's also a good idea to keep a running list of companies to which you have sent the stop requests.
Even with my full-time job and carrying a full course load in college, I have managed to get this accomplished. Protecting the future environment for my children and grandchildren is an important priority. -- JUDIE SONGER, ROGERSVILLE, MO.
DEAR JUDIE: Conserving the environment is a concern to many readers, who will utilize your valuable suggestions. Mail (and telephone) solicitations become more numerous with time. Direct marketing to specifically targeted age-groups is a common sales strategy in our computer age.
To have your name deleted from these lists, write to: Mail Preference Service, Direct Marketing Association, P.O. Box 9008, Farmingdale, N.Y. 11735. There is no charge for this service. The lists are purged only once every quarter, so it may take some time to notice a change in the volume of junk mail you receive.
DEAR ABBY: I saved a favorite clipping from your column dated Aug. 5, 1982. It is an essay titled "On Youth." When you published it, you didn't know who wrote it, but later discovered that Samuel Ullman was the author. He was born in 1840 and died in 1924.
His essay is still relevant today, and I would like to see it in your column again. -- ALABAMA READER
DEAR ALABAMA READER: I'm happy to print it again. Its message is timeless.
ON YOUTH
"Youth is not entirely a time of life -- it is a state of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips or supple knees. It is a temper of will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions.
"Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. You are as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fears; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.
"In the central place of every heart, there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, you are young.
"When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, have you grown old."
WOMAN'S DEPRESSION WAS All IN HER THYROID, NOT HER HEAD
DEAR ABBY: I recently suffered from a serious depression. I was so depressed that thoughts of self-destruction were almost impossible to get out of my mind. I cried all the time and was paranoid about everything and everybody. I felt I couldn't do or say anything right. I thought I had nothing to live for. What a helpless feeling!
My mother and two of my friends insisted that I have my thyroid gland checked. My doctor didn't think a thyroid evaluation was necessary because I didn't have the usual physical symptoms. She wanted to prescribe anti-depressants. However, when I insisted, she agreed to do the thyroid function test.
A couple of days later, she called and prescribed medication to treat my thyroid problem. She also congratulated me for insisting on the test.
If I had not asked for the thyroid test, I would be taking anti-depressants and still be physically sick. Perhaps others who struggle with depression are really suffering from thyroid disorder. -- FEELING BETTER IN ATLANTA
DEAR CONCERNED: I would like to think that those who are on anti-depressants have been first evaluated for physical disorders. However, if they haven't been, perhaps your letter will give them the courage to insist on testing to determine if there is a physical cause for their depression -- which can be caused by a thyroid condition. Depression can also be caused by certain prescription medications, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia (pain in the muscles, ligaments and tendons), and even lack of sleep.
Before any anti-depressants are dispensed, a complete medical evaluation -- including blood tests that would reveal a thyroid problem -- should be performed by a qualified physician.
DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother. Please tell your readers that not all of us on welfare are freeloaders.
I have been on welfare since August 1992. For the past two years, I have tried to get off.
My grandmother sees the stress I'm dealing with every day, and she sometimes takes me to play bingo. The few times I've gone, I have heard remarks such as, "How can people on welfare afford to go to bingo?"
Abby, I have applied for jobs -- sometimes three or four times at the same place -- but I am not called. I have no car, so it would be almost impossible to get to some jobs. On AFDC, I receive $490 a month and $140 in food stamps. I pay $400 for rent and another $60 for utilities. I have no phone, so my mom lets me use hers as a message phone.
Many jobs require people to speak Spanish. I speak only English. Until people who trash us walk in our shoes a while, I wish they'd lay off. -- ELIZABETH B. IN FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR ELIZABETH: Although some individuals may take advantage of the system, I'm sure the vast majority of those on welfare would gladly work if they could find jobs that paid a living wage.
DEAR ABBY: My husband needs to be on oxygen all the time. He has a portable tank for when we go out, but it's too cumbersome for him to manage by himself.
When we are in a restaurant and he needs to use the restroom, what should I do? Should I take him to the ladies' room with me? Should I go to the men's room with him? Should I ask the waiter or some other male service person to accompany him?
What is the polite or socially acceptable course of action? Please don't use my name. -- FLORIDA WIFE
DEAR WIFE: Have your husband ask a male employee if there is some man who could help him to the bathroom and assist him to return.
DEAR READERS: Credit Charlie Reinke (L.A. Times) with this one: "For Christmas, I got a great exercise machine. It came with its own dust and cobwebs already on it."
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
FATHER AND DAUGHTER STAY CLOSE DESPITE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM
DEAR ABBY: You recently published a letter praising divorced fathers who sent child support checks faithfully. Then I saw a letter in your column saying that those fathers were merely doing their legal duty.
Well, Abby, what about divorced fathers who do everything possible to stay in their child's life?
I am 13 years old, and my parents have been divorced for 10 years. Dad still lives in Chicago, but he calls me every single Saturday morning just to talk. He has done this as far back as I can remember.
He never forgets cards for all the holidays, and in between, he writes friendly letters. I visit him almost every holiday and in the summer, too.
He never says anything mean about Mom.
One letter in your column seemed to say that the only thing divorced fathers do is fill out the check every month. That simply is not true. -- JANET REECE IN CINCINNATI
DEAR JANET: Here's a round of applause for all those fathers who keep a loving relationship with their children. And another round of applause for a mature and gracious 13-year-old who is undoubtedly a credit to both her parents.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who calls me occasionally, and I have found out that every time we talk, her husband listens in on the conversation. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with this, but I think it is rude and inconsiderate. When I sense that he is on the phone, I will usually say something like, "Has Tom hung up, or is he still on the line?"
For that reason, I have stopped calling her unless it is something very important. Perhaps I am being overly sensitive, but if I wanted to talk to the husband, I would ask for him. What do you think of grown people who act this way?
We have read your column for many years and I feel that if you respond in the paper, they would certainly read it. Sometimes it is the little things that ruin a wonderful friendship. -- OVERHEARD AND HATING IT
DEAR OVERHEARD: Grown people who listen in on the conversations of others are childish, nosy and rude. Please write again and let me know if Tom and his wife recognize themselves.
DEAR ABBY: I was wondering what to say to solicitors when they come to the door. My mom is usually busy doing something and my father works upstairs at home.
I'm 11 years old, so I don't want to seem disrespectful by saying, "We're not interested" and slamming the door in their faces. What should I do? -- WONDERING GIRL IN PASADENA
DEAR WONDERING: Never open the door to a stranger. It is permissible to ask the solicitor, through a closed door, to identify him or herself. If your parents have no interest in the product, say, "No thank you." The solicitor will get the message.
Children should be told that under no circumstances should they tell a stranger, "My mother isn't home."
DEAR ABBY: A Mrs. Bierstein wrote about her wonderful life in a retirement center, and you responded that in several European countries, similar facilities were available to most seniors at little or no cost. That is true, and it would be wonderful if we could have them too, but please tell the other side of the story.
In such countries, average people pay about half their income in taxes, some medical treatments are denied due to cost, medical advancements seldom keep pace with ours, and their governments are drowning in seas of red ink -- even more than our own government.
Simply put, "There isn't any free lunch!" Sign me ... TEXAS TAXPAYER
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)