Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

The Door With the Moon Will Have the Longer Line

DEAR ABBY: In February of 1987, my granddaughter called and said she and her husband needed a loan of $500 to pay for their baby, which was due in five months. I mailed a check to them immedi�ately, and they sent a note with both their signatures, promising to pay me $25 until the loan was paid off. I never asked for this note -- they sent it on their own.

Since that time, I haven't received a penny from them, al�though they have bought cars and furniture and have taken vacation trips. The final straw was when my granddaughter paid $150 for a pet snake! Abby, if they had sent me only $5 or $10 a month, I would feel that at least they were making an effort.

I continue buying gifts for Christmas and their birthdays even though I am getting a little resentful. I am not poor, but neither am I rich. I am afraid if I ask for the money they owe me, it will damage the good relationship I have with them, and I don't want to cause any hard feelings. Should I just keep my mouth shut and hope they never come to me for another loan? -- SOFT TOUCH IN NEVADA

DEAR SOFT TOUCH: It's unfortunate that you let it go for so long; they probably assumed that since you never asked for the money, you didn't need it. Write them a friendly letter reminding them of their obligation and enclose a photocopy of the note they signed.