Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DOG IS STUNG BY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR'S CARELESSNESS
DEAR ABBY: I recently found my 6-month-old puppy prostrate, limp and glassy-eyed. She was barely able to lift her head and had difficulty breathing.
I rushed her to the vet, who treated her for shock due to multiple bee stings. She was so toxic, she developed severe hepa�titis. Had it not been for the expert care of the veterinarian, my puppy would have died.
She had been stung by a bee a month before, which sensitized her to bee stings. I later discovered that my next-door neighbor had been keeping beehives in her back yard! I had no idea how long, since she has a high fence.
This came as a surprise to her other neighbors, too, since according to our city's code, one must have the written permission of one's neighbors to keep bees in a residential area, and none of us had ever been asked. I informed the regulatory agency of my city government, and they promised to conduct an investigation.
Abby, I have no animosity against beekeepers, but they should respect the ordinances relating to keeping bees in a residential area.
I just spent $800 for dog care as the result of my neighbor's thoughtlessness. Abby, please remind your readers that animals can be just as allergic to insect stings as people -- with just as dire consequences. -- STUNG IN PHOENIX
DEAR STUNG: If it's any consolation, the honeybee stings only once and then it dies. I'm no lawyer, but I think you have a honey of a case against your bee-keeping neighbor.
DEAR ABBY: I would like to air a pet peeve, not only my own but for many friends who are also divorced single mothers.
"Daddy" just called to talk to Junior again. His calls are infrequent, and since he lives out of town, always long- distance. Rather than say, "Hi, Betty, this is Jim; may I talk with Junior?" He says, "Is Junior home?"
Daddy has been out of my life for a number of years, and I don't always recognize his voice. These calls always catch me off guard, and I'm left wondering who wants to talk to my son without identifying himself first.
Junior was the result of love at one time, and he is the product of the woman his father hasn't the common decency to say "Hello" to -- �never mind a courteous, "How are you?"
Junior loves and respects Mom, so why can't Daddy at least acknowledge her existence, and exercise the same good manners he presumably adopts when he calls his doctor's office for an appoint�ment, or his girlfriend at her place of work, or his insurance agent?
It's such a small gesture in light of so many hurts after a divorce, and would show a modicum of maturity and promote good will where there is all too often no opportunity elsewhere for genuine communication.
If you print this, millions of single divorced moms will be grateful; in my own small circle, this complaint is universal. You may sign this "Betty," or ... VISIBLE, STILL BREATHING AND RAISING YOUR CHILD
DEAR BETTY: Here's your letter, which may also apply to some Suzies, Jennifers and a whole flock of Lindas.
If only one daddy is jolted into saying "Hello" to his former wife when he calls to speak to their child, then your efforts, my time and this space will not have been wasted.
America's True Patriots Do More Than Wave the Flag
DEAR ABBY: During the recent surge of patriotism, I have seen many T-shirts proclaiming support for U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf, American dominance and victory.
I think there are many better ways to support our country and our troops than simply by putting a message on a T-shirt to tell every�body you love your country.
For starters, don't litter on the land you are proud of; keep it beautiful by picking up trash.
If you are a student, study hard so you will be able to help your country compete in the world market.
If you are employed, do a good job, and don't cheat your employer. Don't shoplift; it puts retailers out of business and hurts the economy.
If you are a defense contractor, don't cheat the government -- �regardless of how easy they make it.
Write letters to your legislators telling them your views. How can they represent you if they don't know what you want? You can bet that foreign interests and special interests are telling Congress what THEY want.
Everyone who has the right to vote should vote. It's a privilege.
Read the newspapers and watch the news to keep up on current events so you'll know what's going on.
Unless we want our servicepeople returning to the Middle East, we must learn to conserve energy and reduce our oil dependence. Some ways to do this are to "Drive 55," carpool, select fuel-efficient cars and do not waste electricity.
Or is all of the above too much trouble? (It's a lot easier to wear a T-shirt.)
I realize this letter may be too long to print, but I hope you will print at least part of it if you agree with me. -- NORTH CAROLINA PATRIOT
DEAR PATRIOT: I'm printing all of it. It takes more than hoisting a flag or donning a T-shirt to show patriotism for one's country. Thanks for a dandy letter.
DEAR ABBY: I am 22 years of age and have been married three and a half years. Lately I have felt that my husband is acting cold toward me. We just had a talk about this and he said, "Maybe marriage isn't for me," and, "Maybe we got married too young," and, "Maybe after being with you for eight months, I realize what being married to you is really like." (My husband is in the Navy, and this is the first time we have spent so much time together.) Yet, he also claims that he loves me.
For the past two or three months, we have been trying to start a family. This was his idea. It is hard for me to understand how a person can feel the way he says he feels and still want to start a family. His reply was, "Maybe what we need is a baby."
Abby, isn't this the wrong solution to our problem? -- CONFUSED IN LONG BEACH
DEAR CONFUSED: Yes. Children should be brought into this world because they are wanted, not to serve as glue to hold a troubled marriage together. What you and your husband "need" to save your marriage is to discuss his reaction to your eight months of together�ness with a professional counselor. Then decide if you are ready to have a family.
A baby is a lifelong responsibility, not a cure for an ailing marriage.
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: My problem is my husband's driving. Whenever another motorist breaks one of the highway courtesy rules and cuts in front of my husband, or passes him when another car is coming in the opposite direction, my husband has to get back at him. He'll pull up real close to him, or he'll immediately pass him to let him know that he is not going to let him get away with anything.
Sometimes he doesn't like the way a truck driver is driving, so he'll start playing games with him. I get scared half to death and beg him not to take such foolish chances, but he insists that he's going to "teach them a lesson."
We've had a few minor scrapes and several close calls, but nothing really serious yet. He argues that he is a safe driver, but to me, that's not safe.
What's the matter with this 33-year-old baby? How can I make him realize that that kind of driving is not safe? -- WORRIED IN OREGON
DEAR WORRIED: Part of my definition for maturity is ... "the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." Your husband isn't mature. Just keep on nagging him to let the other guy have the road -- unless he's trying to beat him to the cemetery, and take you with him.
DEAR ABBY: I am 29 years old, have seven kids and am pregnant again. I've never been married, but I've been engaged twice and I've been pinned several times. Don't tell me I should have been more careful because I WAS careful, but nothing seemed to work with me.
A doctor put me on birth control pills and I followed his instructions, but I turned up pregnant anyway. The dcotor said it must have been the fault of the pills, so he put me on another brand, and the same thing happened.
I've used other methods including marking the calendar, but they all failed. I must be one of those super fertile types.
I don't want any more kids after this, at least not until I get married, but I don't want an operation to make me sterile because I might meet a guy who wants a kid of his own, and then what will I do?
Is there a method of birth control that is positively sure? Don't send me to a doctor. They're the ones who got me into this fix. -- FERTILE MYRTLE
DEAR MYRTLE: When it comes to birth control, the only method that's 100 percent effective is self-control.
You don't say who's supporting all those kids, but if we taxpayers are, you owe it to your country to visit the Planned Parenthood people and turn off that baby machine.
DEAR ABBY: I have two big, good-looking sons. One is 16 and the other is 18, and they've been fighting each other ever since they were old enough to swing their arms.
The 18-year-old just bought a car and drove past his brother walking down the road, and he wouldn't even stop to give him a ride.
The 16-year-old, who's as big as his brother, keeps his clothes in better shape, so the older one helps himself to his kid brother's clothes without asking.
The boys fight and cuss each other out like a couple of mule skinners. Why can't they act like brothers? -- WEST VIRGINIA MOM
DEAR MOM: They do. Cain and Abel.
Hot off the press -- Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)