Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
KIDS' BACKYARD TOY CAUSES INSURANCE TO JUMP SKY-HIGH
DEAR ABBY: I am very angry! We have just met with our insurance agent who has advised us that we need an additional policy.
We recently purchased a trampoline for our children, which we are now told is a huge liability to us. It stands about 3 1/2 feet off the ground, so it is not likely that a small child could get on without assistance.
What infuriates me is that the children who COULD get on are old enough to know they would be trespassing. Should a child hurt him or herself while using it without supervision, we would be responsible.
Why couldn't we sue the parents for not watching their children or teaching them to respect other people's property? Our system has made it a liability to drive the Boy Scouts to the zoo, or have play equipment in our own back yard. Granted, laws are made for the protection of others -- but what about my rights? I could lose my home, my car and all of my savings because the newspaper boy decided to jump on our trampoline while delivering newspapers.
We, the public, have made it so easy to sue. Who cares? The insurance company has plenty of money. Wrong! You and I pay for it through higher premiums. It is time the lawyers, judges and jurors stood up and shouted, "Enough! Quit wasting my time and the taxpayers' money!"
For crying out loud, America, use some common sense!
All we wanted to do was give our children a fun toy -- not make someone rich because his kids broke our safety rules and trespassed on our property. Thank you, Abby, for letting me get this off my chest. -- A VERY DISAPPOINTED TRAMPOLINE OWNER
DEAR DISAPPOINTED OWNER: As your insurance agent has probably informed you, a trampoline on your property is what is known as an "attractive nuisance"! It is "attractive" because it is accessible to children in your neighborhood who may find it fun and can use it unsupervised. And it's a "nuisance" because should an accident occur, you are, indeed, liable.
You should install a fence around your property, making the trampoline inaccessible to uninvited people. And be sure your fence has a lock on it.
DEAR ABBY: Like 100,000 other men in the United States each year, I was diagnosed recently as having cancer of the prostate through the use of a digital examination, a blood test for the measurement of prostatic-specific antigen, and an ultrasound examination of the prostate. Soon after, I went to the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore for surgery, where Dr. Patrick Walsh has devised a procedure for the removal of cancerous prostates with a nerve-sparing technique, leaving most of his patients potent and continent. His procedure is widely used by other urologists.
One urologist told me that had I not had the prostatic- specific antigen test and the ultrasound examination, the detection of the malignancy through a digital examination alone would have taken 10 years, at which time I would have been dead. Instead, I am cancer-free and in perfect health because of early detection. -- THOMAS P. SLAVENS, PROFESSOR, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
DEAR DR. SLAVENS: Thank you for a valuable letter.
WOMAN'S OBSESSION WITH MAN EATS AWAY AT HER SELF-CONTROL
DEAR ABBY: I am 32 years old and people say I am very attractive. A year ago I started seeing "Alex." He was everything I ever wanted -- handsome, intelligent, successful. We were together almost every night, and he even started talking about marriage.
Then last month, out of the blue, he announced that he thinks we're getting "too serious" and we should both start seeing other people. That was the beginning of the end. It's like a bad dream. I can't stop crying. I'm in sales and my job requires my full attention, but I'm in a fog.
My eating is out of control. The night before last, I ate a whole barbecue chicken, a large pizza and three cheese Danishes. Tonight I consumed a pint of ice cream and almost a whole bag of cookies. My stomach hurt so bad I couldn't finish the cookies.
Abby, I dial his phone number 15 to 20 times a day just to hear his voice -- then I hang up. I'm sure he knows it's me. I'm humiliated he would dump me like this. How can I get him back? I love him! -- OUT OF CONTROL IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: You may not be able to get him back, but you must regain control of your feelings and behavior. What you describe isn't "love," it's compulsive behavior. Dr. Susan Forward has written a book for people who can't let go of relationships that aren't working (or have ended) and find themselves feeling out of control. It's titled "Obsessive Love" (Bantam). Pick up a copy and read it. It will help you shift from pain and anxiety to healthy patterns of healing/recovery. Good luck.
DEAR ABBY: I am the man who found the $42 in the glove compartment of the secondhand car I had recently purchased. And I am married to a woman of good character in Anchorage, Alaska. Here is the rest of the story:
Since pocketing the $42, I have put that much (and more) into this vehicle, after replacing the brakes and a computer part, and being towed twice. I find I am now $550 in the hole -- minus the $42.
Rabbi Botnick related the parable about the rabbi whose students had bought him a donkey to help him in his business of selling flax. The students were amazed to find a precious pearl attached to the neck of the donkey, whereupon they informed the rabbi that he could retire -- a rich man!
The rabbi responded, "I bought a donkey, not a pearl," and he promptly returned the pearl.
I have to wonder if the pearl would have been returned if the donkey had come up lame the next day. I expect your response will be similar to my wife's -- that the car trouble may have been a consequence of my action.
I don't buy that -- and I'm not returning the money! -- THE HUSBAND OF THE WOMAN OF GOOD CHARACTER
DEAR HUSBAND: Only a fool would buy a donkey without carefully examining it to make sure it wasn't lame. And only a fool would buy a secondhand car without having it examined first by an automotive mechanic.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
There's a Whole Lot of Fakin' Going on in American Bedrooms
DEAR ABBY: Please tell "B in Dallas" her confession about faking orgasms made my day, my month, my year! I know that God will forgive me this small deception. Actually, it's an act of kindness; it makes my husband feel so virile and masculine. I truly love him, so it's no great sacrifice on my part. -- MISSOURI FAKER
DEAR ABBY: Why "fake it"? Enjoy it! I was married to the same man for nearly 50 years and my sex life died when he did. I'm a great-grandmother now, but if I could find a nice clean man between 70 and 80, believe me, I wouldn't have to fake it. Please don't use my name. I live in a senior citizens complex, and if my neighbors knew I wrote this, they'd have a coronary. -- CITRUS HEIGHTS, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: All the world is a stage, and everybody fakes enjoyment of something at some time. Some husbands fake enjoyment of opera, the symphony, ballroom dancing and other activities their wives relish. Unselfish people are accustomed to accommodating others. -- A MALE'S PERSPECTIVE
DEAR ABBY: I simply submit to sex as my wifely obligation to "service" my lusty husband. To him, sex is just another bodily function. I always leave the lights on so I can read something until he's finished. -- SUBMITTING, NOT FAKING
DEAR ABBY: Hooray for "B in Dallas" for admitting she's "faking it." I'm a 55-year-old woman, married for 33 years, and I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime. But I'm starving for love! -- BEL AIR FAKER
DEAR ABBY: I don't have to fake it anymore "just to get it over with." Sex is great now that the kids are out of the house and I'm no longer on the Pill. -- PARADISE VALLEY, ARIZ.
DEAR ABBY: Those fakers out there should quit blaming the man. If they have to "fake it," they just aren't willing to figure out what feels good -- and then explain it to their partner. The man is going to have a good time whether she fakes it or not.
Woody Allen once said, "The first organ a person must use to achieve sexual satisfaction is the brain." -- TOM IN MICHIGAN
DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old woman and have been married twice, and I'm not sure I've ever experienced an orgasm. Oh, I may have had one once when I was 17, and I was so overcome, I nearly blacked out. It's just as well it never happened again. -- MARIE IN MADISON
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.