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by Abigail Van Buren

With Some Husbands, Wives Can't Always Be Lovers Too

DEAR ABBY: I've been waiting for years to see a letter like the one from "B in Dallas." (She said she faked orgasms.) I'm glad to know I'm not the only woman who does this. Now I'll feel less like a freak. Please print all the letters you get on the subject. -- SACRAMENTO FAKER

DEAR FAKER: I could not believe the volume of mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Of course I fake it. All women do. I adore my husband, but he couldn't find my erogenous zone with a road map, so I go through the motions to keep from hurting his masculine ego. -- DESERVES AN ACADEMY AWARD

DEAR ABBY: Most men have the rabbit habit: hop on, hop off. Athletes know that in order to perform well they must warm up first, perform, then cool down. The act of making love is no different. If men followed these instructions, women wouldn't have to fake it. -- MIDWEST COACH

DEAR ABBY: My darling is 65 and he's still making it. I'm 63 and still faking it. When I read about these men who are still active at 85, I shudder. I don't think I could survive another 20 years of this. Dear God, don't they ever wear out? -- LONG ISLAND FAKER

DEAR ABBY: Married for 22 years. Been faking it for 20. -- CHATTANOOGA "ACTRESS"

DEAR ABBY: I fake it just to get it over with. Sex never was as important to me as it is to my husband -- but it's so good for his ego, I'd never let on that all my wild carrying on was an act. We've been married for 44 years. He's faithful and so am I, and ours is a loving, solid marriage. -- CANADIAN FAKER

DEAR ABBY: I am 33 and my husband is 28. He's a wonderful man but a lousy lover. I don't dare get him too excited or it's all over before it's begun. We've been married for six years and we really love each other, so I can live with it. -- FAKING IT IN ST. PAUL

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor and I were discussing our inadequate sex lives over coffee one day. She said she often "fakes" orgasms with her husband, then I confessed that I also did with mine.

We decided to massage each other, and found it more satisfying than our husbands' efforts. Our husbands don't know the difference, and we are ... TWO WIVES HAPPY AT LAST

DEAR ABBY: Your reader thinks most women "fake it." Well, here's one who doesn't have to. Even though my husband is 79 and I'm 76, sex is still fun. We love to have our children visit us for a day or two, but when they leave, I put the red satin sheets on the waterbed, turn on some soft music and don my sexiest nightie. Then, let the fun begin. Believe me, faking isn't necessary. -- HAPPY HONEY IN HONOLULU

(More "fakers" tomorrow.)

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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