By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I am going steady with a girl on my block. She's 10 and I'm 11. She gave me her I.D. bracelet, and I gave her my frog. She has gotten very bossy lately, and I would like to break off with her. How should I go about it? -- ALLEN
DEAR ALLEN: Return her I.D. bracelet and tell her you don't want to go steady anymore. Then ask for your frog. But hurry before the frog croaks.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old boy who was able to graduate from high school early because I passed the required tests. My problem is I need to get a job, but nobody will hire me because I have had no experience. Abby, how can a person get experience if nobody will hire him?
I am a responsible, hard-working boy who has never been in any kind of trouble, and I'm willing to do anything -- run errands, wait on tables, sweep the floors, answer the phone, box groceries -- you name it. And if I don't know how to do it, I will learn.
So far I have applied for 22 jobs, but nothing has materialized.
Abby, how can a person without pull or connections get a job? I'm beginning to think it's impossible. -- DISCOURAGED
DEAR DISCOURAGED: Go back to some of the places you've applied and tell them that you are honest, dependable, hard-working and so eager to prove your worth that you'll work for one week with no obligation on their part, and if they feel you don't qualify, they owe you nothing.
You may not be hired instantly, but I'll bet your name goes to the top of the list.
DEAR ABBY: I hope you will take time to give me your opinion on a problem that involves two partners in a small business.
Partner A bought a $100 ticket to a charity ball with company funds, a normal procedure. The day of the ball, partner A asked partner B if he would like to use the ticket. Partner B said no. Partner A offered it to others. No takers. At the last minute, partner A decided to go himself.
The ticket was the winning number. It won $4,000!
Partner A insists the money is his. Partner B thinks it should be split 50-50. What do you think? -- P.R.
DEAR P.R.: If partner A, with the knowledge and consent of partner B, invested company funds in an oil well, and it brought in a million-dollar gusher, wouldn't partner B be entitled to half the proceeds? The same principle applies.
DEAR ABBY: Our middle son, Andy, is a very intelligent young man of 19. He went to college for one year just to please us, then he quit, saying, "I don't want to waste any more of my time and your money."
His grades were fine, but he says he prefers working with his hands. He's now enrolled in a trade school and we're so disappointed in him!
I'm not putting down people who work with their hands, Abby, but it seems to me that people who work with their hands do so because they aren't smart enough to work with their minds.
Andy's father is a professional man, and both of Andy's brothers plan to enter professions.
Please say in your column that a college degree is absolutely necessary these days. After Andy graduates from college he can do anything he chooses, but we desperately want him to have a college degree first. -- ANDY'S MOTHER
DEAR MOTHER: I disagree. College is NOT for everybody. If Andy prefers to work with his hands, that's what he should do.
It's not true that people work with their hands because they aren't smart enough to work with their minds. Some handwork requires more skill, talent and know-how than many professions. You do your son a tremendous disservice by telling him he's "disappointed you" and urging him to go to college. Change your tune.
DEAR ABBY: I just read in a local newspaper that a clergyman urges a ban on babies attending church. After what happened at our church last Sunday, I have to agree with him.
Today, parents dress up their kids real cute and take them to church to show them off, but they don't discipline them.
One little girl about 18 months old did everything but swing from the chandelier, and all her mother did was "shush" her by putting her fingers to her lips. Her brother (about 8) kept stirring her up by poking her, and the mother just gave him a few dirty looks.
Another child sitting behind me kept trying to grab my earrings. When I turned around and glared, her mother just smiled. At one point, when announcements were made over the loudspeaker, there was so much commotion from kids yelling that no one could hear the announcements.
The minister was disgusted, but he didn't have the courage to say anything. He should have told the mothers of those unruly children to take them to the bathroom and give them a good learning experience!
What do you think? I am ... HOPPING MAD IN POCATELLO, IDAHO
DEAR HOPPING: I think you're right. Parents who love their children discipline them. And contrary to common belief, "to discipline" does not mean "to punish." It means "to teach."
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Counseling Saves Self-Esteem as Well as Woman's Marriage
DEAR ABBY: May I second your excellent recommendation to "Nervous Wreck," whose bull-headed husband refused marriage counseling, was walking all over her, and was teaching her son to do the same?
We had a similar situation at our house. I finally sought counseling alone because my husband not only refused to go with me but also tried to talk me out of it.
Several sessions with a psychiatrist relieved my depression, and at the doctor's suggestion I signed up for a course in assertiveness at a nearby mental health clinic.
Well, Abby, our marriage is on an entirely different footing now. In counseling I was treated as a rational, sensitive person whose feelings are important, and I came to view myself that way.
Because I changed, my family's reactions toward me did, too. They found that I would firmly reject disrespectful attitudes and actions and that I demanded my rights in any situation.
My husband now seems like a different man, and we are both 100 percent happier. As for me, I'm ... NO LONGER A WRECK
DEAR NO LONGER: Thank you for supporting my constant recommendation to "get counseling." To some it may sound like a broken record; to others, a cop-out. Mental health clinics across the nation continue to provide lifesaving support for troubled people at a price everyone can afford to pay. If your marriage is in trouble and your mate refuses counseling -- go alone!
DEAR ABBY: Some people seem to think that just because we have a large family, our yard is a public playground.
At this moment I have 16 kids playing ball in my back yard, and only seven of them are mine. My problem is that the kids aren't allowed to play in other yards because they ruin the grass and fall in the flowers. I really don't mind, but it wouldn't hurt some of the other parents to let the kids play in their yard once in a while.
At night, the kids ask me to turn on my yard lights so they can play after supper. The yelling and the screaming can be heard for blocks.
When, oh when, will I have peace and quiet again? -- MOM WITH PUBLIC PLAYGROUND
DEAR MOM: Too soon. Count your blessings, Mom. You're lucky your children are occupied in a healthy, wholesome sport. You don't have to worry about where they are, what they're doing and with whom. Anybody can raise grass. It takes special people to raise children.
DEAR ABBY: While in church, I saw a woman put a $5 bill in the collection plate and take back $4. Is that considered proper etiquette? -- CURIOUS
DEAR CURIOUS: Why not? God knows she put in $5.
Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)