Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter's Use of Birth Control Has Mom at a Loss for Words

DEAR ABBY: Our 19-year-old daughter is a college sophomore, living at school.

Recently, while in her old room at home, I came across a pharmacy bag containing contraceptive supplies with a receipt dated 2 1/2 years ago. At that time, she was dating a 19-year-old guy, with whom she recently broke up (six months ago) after a three-year relationship.

She's a great kid, well-adjusted, always obeyed her curfew, and doesn't drink or do drugs. Should I just forget about this and be glad she at least took responsibility for protecting herself? (She has never been willing to discuss sex with me.)

I have not mentioned this to her father. Should I? I feel a bit like a traitor keeping it from him, but he is her father. Thank you for any advice you can offer. -- HER MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: Your daughter is to be commended for her (a) maturity and (b) sense of responsibility regarding contraception.

If it will ease your mind to have a private conversation with your daughter about your "discovery," do so. But if sharing the information with your husband could possibly sour their relationship, please reconsider. The past is history.