What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Amy," is having a terrible time because although she is a beautiful girl, she's short. At 17, she's only 5 foot 1 inch, and she feels as though she is being left out of the modeling world because the agencies will not hire girls her size. She feels less than beautiful, and it is hurting her self-esteem.
Do you know of any modeling agency that will take a girl of Amy's petite size? -- AMY'S CONCERNED MOTHER
DEAR MOTHER: Your daughter needs to know that beauty comes in all sizes, and there are careers other than modeling.
I spoke to Nina Blanchard, owner of one of the top modeling agencies in the country, and she agrees with Amy; there is no market in modeling for a girl who is 5 foot 1 inch. (Even "petite" models are 5 foot 4 to 5 foot 6.)
Blanchard said: "Tell Amy to dry her tears and learn to act because there is no height requirement in acting or commercials. And the rewards are just as good and sometimes better."
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my boyfriend beat me up. He said he was sorry, so I gave him another chance. The second time it happened, I made him move out. A week later, he came after me.
Fearing for my life, I ran outside, thinking I was safe with so many neighbors around. (I lived in a mobile home park.) I was wrong. Nobody helped me.
He started beating on me, and I ran from trailer to trailer with him chasing me as I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Somebody, please call the police!" He caught me, knocked me to the ground and beat me unconscious. It was a summer day and everyone had the windows open. I was screaming so loud, I could have been heard a block away.
Abby, I wasn't asking people to risk their lives. I just wanted someone to pick up a phone and call the police. One neighbor even closed his door because my screams disturbed him! When I confronted him later, he said, "I didn't want to get involved."
I still have nightmares about that terrible experience -- not the beating, but pleading for help while everyone looked the other way.
To make a long story short, I pressed charges against the man. He was put away for two years and ordered not to return to this community. -- ILLINOIS VICTIM
DEAR VICTIM: I would like to believe that people are basically good, but there is too much evidence to the contrary to accept that theory. What a sad commentary on the nature of mankind.
"Man's inhumanity to man
"Makes countless thousands mourn!"
-- Robert Burns, 1759-1796
When Gift Has a Personal Touch, Deliver It in Person
DEAR ABBY: About 12 years ago, I gave a beautiful handmade quilt to my nephew and his wife as their wedding gift. I made it myself, and everyone who saw it said it was a work of art.
I did not deliver it myself. Another relative carried it to my nephew's home. I got a thank-you for the gift, but it was not said that the gift was a handmade quilt.
To make a long story short, a few months ago I was at this nephew's home and I saw the quilt hanging on a quilt stand in their bedroom. I asked who made the stand and my nephew's wife said, "My brother made the stand, and my grandmother made the quilt."
I asked, "Where is the one I gave you?" She said, "This is the only one we have."
Now, the grandmother has lived with that lie on her conscience all these years -- letting people believe that she made it when she knows perfectly well that I made it.
My advice to anyone who has a nice gift to give: Deliver it yourself! And, Abby, don't you think somebody owes me an apology? -- STILL HURT IN OHIO
DEAR STILL HURT: Good advice! But it wouldn't hurt to have enclosed a gift card with the quilt with a brief message: "Made with love from Aunt ( ) to ( )."
Since this is irritating you, why don't you set the record straight and tell your nephew and his wife that you made the quilt that was delivered to them by another relative, who took the credit for having made it?
DEAR ABBY: The copy of "Please God, I'm Only 17" appeared in today's Chicago Tribune, and its appearance was very timely. Just yesterday, I confiscated my 17-year-old son's driver's license after overhearing a conversation with a friend in which he boasted of doing 60 in a 45-mile zone on a small residential country road. (I didn't know yet how long I would keep it or what else I might have him do in order to make an impression.)
I decided upon the following course of action after reading your column. I clipped it and gave it to him with the following:
"Dear John: When you copy this little piece, 'Please God, I'm Only 17,' 25 times in your neatest writing and on good paper, and prominently display all 25 copies in your bedroom (nope, make an extra two copies, one for each car), you may have your license back. John, this is called tough love. Remember it. You may have to use it some day with one of your own children. I love you. Mom"
Thanks, Abby. -- TONI WEAVER, McHENRY, ILL.
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DAUGHTER'S HEARTFELT THANK-YOU WAS DAD'S MOST PRECIOUS GIFT
DEAR ABBY: This is a belated thank-you letter for something you printed in your column several years ago.
I lost my father suddenly last year. As difficult as his death was, I had peace of mind knowing that I had left nothing unsaid. Because of a Father's Day column you wrote, I sent my father a three-page letter instead of a necktie. It was a difficult letter to write because I had never verbalized my feelings about him, but once I started to tell him how important he had been in my life, and how much I owed him for raising me to be a caring, responsible, productive person, it was easy.
I will never forget the expression on his face as he read my letter. When he finished, he told me that he had never before received such a precious gift.
My father died knowing how much I loved and appreciated him. Abby, please make that suggestion to your readers every year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. -- JUDY THRASHER, DEFIANCE, OHIO
DEAR JUDY: Here's your letter, dedicated to the memory of your beloved father. And thank you, Judy, for giving me permission to use your name when I telephoned you.
DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, your advice to "Anonymous in the USA," the working couple who had never filed income tax returns, fell short of the best advice they should have received.
Contacting the IRS in this situation without first seeking the professional advice of a qualified, experienced CPA or tax attorney is asking for more, not less, trouble. While it's possible that they might emerge unharmed, the risk of far harsher treatment is too high.
Much better for them to consult with an experienced tax accountant or attorney so they can learn their rights as well as their obligations. So much of this couple's financial and emotional future is at stake; they need expert outside advice on this kind of problem, Abby.
In the past, you have advised people who have legal problems to seek legal advice; this situation is no different. Please correct your advice to this couple before too many people follow it. -- DONALD B. WALTER, CPA, SEATTLE
DEAR MR. WALTER: I just did, thanks to you.
DEAR ABBY: Was it you who wrote:
"Women in slacks
"Should not turn their backs"?
-- HARRY IN MANITOWOC, WIS.
DEAR HARRY: No, but thanks for the compliment. The author was Ogden Nash, who must have been fixated on ladies' derrieres because he also wrote:
"Deck your lower limbs in pants, my sweet.
"You have seen yourself advance,
"But have you seen yourself retreat?"
Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)