WORTH CLIPPING (from Forbes magazine): "How do you know when you're old? When you double your current age and realize you're not going to live that long." -- Michael L. Leyden II
Magic Johnson Sets Standard for National Response to Aids
DEAR READERS: Since the day Magic Johnson stepped to the microphone and calmly announced that he tested positive for the AIDS virus, we have been hearing a great deal about AIDS.
It is no longer "a gay disease," and as Johnson said, "If it could happen to me -- it can happen to anybody."
Please read what Anna Quindlen, the brilliant New York Times columnist, had to say about the subject:
"In the 10 years since five gay men with pneumonia became a million people who are HIV-positive, this illness has brought out the worst in America.
"Last year we witnessed the canonization of one AIDS patient, a 23-year-old woman named Kimberly Bergalis, who says she 'didn't do anything wrong.' She is a lovely white woman with no sexual history who contracted AIDS from her dentist. She is what some people like to call 'an innocent victim.'
"With that single adjective we condemn those who get AIDS from sex and those who get it from dirty needles as guilty, and ultimately unworthy of our help and sympathy. We imply that gay men get what they deserve, and people who shoot up may as well be dead. It's a little like being sympathetic to the health-conscious jogger who dies of a heart attack during a stint on the Stairmaster, but telling the widow of the couch potato, 'Well, if he hadn't eaten all those hot dogs, this wouldn't have happened.'
"How are all those parents who denigrate 'queers' and 'junkies' going to explain what happened to Magic Johnson? How are all those pious people who like to talk about 'innocent victims' going to deal with the lovable basketball star, the all-time sports hero, who stressed safe sex when he told the world he was HIV-positive? Will this finally make them say to their kids, 'It could happen to you,' and make them stop relying solely on chastity and start dealing with reality?
"Magic Johnson, with that engaging personality, that athletic legerdemain, that grin -- this is what AIDS looks like. Why can't we learn to deal with our national tragedy with as much dignity and determination as this good man brings to his personal one?"
DEAR ABBY: I am hoping you can help with a research project we are doing at school. Almost all watch advertisements have their watches set at 10:10. (Digital as well as standard watches.)
I was told years ago that this was to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima, as it was at this exact time. Well, that theory is false. Hiroshima was bombed at 8:15 a.m.
Can you or anyone else answer this question for us? Thank you! -- G. TAYLOR AND THE FOURTH-GRADE CLASS, TRAFTON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, ARLINGTON, WASH.
DEAR G. TAYLOR AND THE FOURTH-GRADE CLASS: According to the Association of Watch and Clock Collectors (Columbia, Pa.), the clock industry has been using that setting since the 1850s to illustrate sales catalogs. Their spokesperson said it is not true that the clocks are set to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima -- or the time that President Lincoln was supposed to have been shot, either.
Watches and clocks are set at 10:10, and sometimes 1:50, because it looks good and presents a balanced face that is easy to read.
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: Well, it seems as though we just finished polishing off the Thanksgiving leftovers, and it's time to start shopping for holiday gifts again.
You may consider spending less on gifts this year and doing a little more for the poor and homeless.
However, old habits are hard to break, so if you insist on sending gifts, let me tell you what not to give Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Howard, who don't get around much anymore.
Forget the cologne, dusting powder and after-shave. They probably have several unopened boxes on their closet shelves -- that is, if they haven't already recycled them.
Grandpa doesn't need another necktie, and Grandma doesn't want any more earrings. With the price of groceries going through the roof, older people who live alone on fixed incomes would appreciate a basket of practical goodies. How about small tins of tuna, chicken and ham? Also, crackers, instant coffee, tea, soup mixes and cookies.
People who live in confined quarters do not need more "things," so don't send candy dishes or figurines. And don't send articles of clothing unless you're sure the size is right. Leisure (or "warm-up") suits are comfy and easy to launder. Older folks love them.
Some truly useful gifts: an assortment of postcards, some lined stationery with envelopes and a generous supply of postage stamps. And enclose some felt-tip pens.
Another suggestion: a variety of greeting cards for all occasions. They might want to send someone a nice birthday, anniversary, graduation or thank-you card. Don't forget get-well cards, condolence cards and "congratulations on the new baby" cards.
Should you be tempted to recycle a lovely but useless gift still in its original box, make sure the card to you is not still in the box.
Never give a pet to anyone unless you are absolutely certain that person wants a pet and is able to care for it properly. And if you want to make a hit with someone who has a pet, send a little holiday gift for it (a tin of dog or cat food and bird seed for "Tweetie Pie") along with a gift for its master.
Don't give wine or liquor to people unless you are sure they imbibe. A thoughtful idea: a gift subscription for a magazine or newspaper you know they will enjoy. Candy, nuts and fruitcake make beautiful gifts for people who aren't counting their calories, but have a little compassion for those who are, and lead them not into temptation. Also bear in mind that some older folks have difficulty chewing nuts and caramels.
Another good idea for those living alone on a fixed income: a gift certificate for some kind of service such as window washing, carpet cleaning, taxi rides, barber shop, beauty parlor or dinner or lunch at their favorite place. And (don't laugh) a gift certificate entitling them to a trip to the podiatrist. Because medication is no small item these days, a gift certificate from the neighborhood pharmacy would be very much appreciated. Trust me.
Holiday time can be depressing for people who are alone, so if you know someone who might be alone and lonely, give him (or her) the best gift of all -- an invitation to have a holiday meal with you and your family. Loneliness is the ultimate poverty. -- Love, ABBY
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
WOULD EXPLORING THE PAST BE AN IMPOSITION ON THE PRESENT?
DEAR ABBY: I would dearly love to see the inside of the homes where my grandmother and parents lived when I was a child. They were farmhouses with no indoor plumbing and, at one time, no electricity. I understand that my grandmother's house has been completely modernized, and I can see from the outside that an addition has been built onto it.
My question: Would it be out of line for me to go to the door, identify myself, and ask to be taken on a tour of the house? I can't call ahead to make an appointment because I don't know who lives there. Also, I'm always on vacation when I'm in the area, and I can't make an appointment for the next week or month.
This is rural country; people are not as fearful of strangers as they might be in the city, and I can tell them enough about their house to convince them that I once lived there.
I have asked a few friends what they would do if a stranger came to their door and asked permission to see their house. Some said they would permit entry. Others said, "No way!"
Abby, please ask your readers what they would say. And why. -- CALVIN IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR CALVIN: Provocative question. Readers?
DEAR ABBY: This is the first time that I have written to you. Maybe you won't think this idea is important, but here goes anyway:
I have to exercise daily. I walk for health reasons. While I was out walking one day, I suddenly realized that I was not carrying any means of identification on me. I also noticed that other people I passed (or that passed me) didn't seem to, either, due to the outfits they were wearing.
I thought that if I passed out or was accidentally hit by a car or a falling object, who would know who I was, or if I needed any special medication due to my condition?
I now make sure that I carry a means of identification on me everytime I leave home. And I hope that you think this is worth printing for people who job or walk. -- ROBERT BRINKMAN, BELCHERTOWN, MASS.
DEAR ROBERT: It is. And I did. Thank you.
DEAR ABBY: In response to "True Story, Palm Beach, Fla." -- the case where a tuxedoed pair of con men made off with the wedding gifts brought to a country club reception -- may I add:
Bringing wedding gifts to a reception is boorish and bad manners. Wedding invitations are always sent a month before the wedding, giving the guests plenty of time to select and send wedding gifts to the bride's home. This not only allows the bride a head start on her thank-you notes (always a headache after the honeymoon), but it frees family members or friends from the irksome job of standing by the gift table at a time when everyone else is having fun. And then there is the massive job of hauling gifts back to the family home.
Let's return to the thoughtful good manners of yesteryear; send the gifts ahead of time. Maybe the following line added to the wedding invitation would help: "Please do not bring gifts to the reception." -- OFF MY CHEST
DEAR OFF: I agree that hand-carrying wedding gifts to the reception places an additional burden on the bride. However, a "line" on the wedding invitation asking that no gifts be brought to the reception would be out of line.
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)