Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Man's Best Friend Deserves More Than Just Friendship
DEAR ABBY: I am a volunteer and board member at the Mercer County Humane Society animal shelter in West Virginia.
Approximately 10,000 animals pass through our shelter each year, many of which do not find homes. We feed and love them, but there aren't enough good homes for all of them.
I feel sure that puppies and kittens are on many children's wish lists for Christmas. Pets can be man's best friends and wonderful companions, but I wish that people would realize how much care a pet actually requires. All the cats and dogs that end up at our shelter were once someone's sweet little kitten or puppy.
Enclosed is a column you wrote 10 years ago, titled "Doggy in the Window." Please give it another go. -- SARAH R. GIBSON, PRINCETON, W.VA.
DEAR MS. GIBSON: At the risk of winding up in the doghouse (some readers do not like reruns), I'll chance it:
DEAR ABBY: My name is Joshua and I am 7 years old. I want a dog, but my mother says no. I really want one bad. Abby, I will take any kind. I promise to take care of it. How can I get my mother to let me have a dog? -- WANTING A DOG
DEAR JOSHUA: Please answer these questions:
1. Who will prepare the dog's meals?
2. Will someone be home during the day to look after the dog?
3. If the dog is a puppy, someone will have to exercise it at least twice a day. Who will do it?
4. Who will pay for the dog's license, collar, shots, regular examinations at the vet's, and any emergency treatment the dog may need?
5. Who will pay the cost of spaying or neutering your pet to prevent the birth of more unwanted puppies in a nation that already has too many? Every day, thousands are "put to sleep."
6. Are you willing to obey all the laws concerning dogs, such as keeping yours on a leash, and seeing that it doesn't do its "business" where it shouldn't?
7. Are you willing to care for the dog as long as it lives?
Important lessons are learned from having a pet, but it takes time, money and a willingness to accept responsibility to be a dog owner. Can you handle it?
DEAR ABBY: About a month ago, my husband and I decided to do our Christmas shopping early. We bought coats, ski pants, thermal socks and boots -- for homeless people.
I can't begin to describe the joy it gave us. Shopping had never been so much fun. Instead of worrying about sizes and colors, we simply bought warm, sturdy clothes. Since we bought everything at an outlet store, we managed to get about 100 items, including 17 winter coats -- for a little more than $1,000.
When we delivered the clothes to the local shelter, the manager was overjoyed. Winter weather had arrived the night before, and she had already given out all the winter coats. She had dreaded coming to the shelter that night, knowing she had no warm clothes to distribute.
Next year my husband and I will celebrate Christmas twice. The first time will be in July! Abby, won't you please let your readers know that "Christmas" can happpen any day of the year -- the joys of giving are rewarding beyond belief, and the need is always there. -- OVERJOYED IN EVANSTON, ILL.
DEAR OVERJOYED: Thanks for reiterating a homily that may sound corny -- but it is, indeed, more blessed to give than to receive.
Dad's Walking in on Couple Has Girlfriend Ready to Run
DEAR ABBY: Something terribly embarrassing happened to me yesterday -- it's every young woman's nightmare.
My boyfriend's father walked in on us during a very, very private moment. We are both in our early 20s and have been dating for three years and plan to marry next year when we graduate from college.
I don't know if this was a surprise for his father since his son and I have been dating for a long time, but I am very embarrassed about the situation. How can I ever face this man again? He told his son to let me know that he was very sorry, and he didn't mean to invade our privacy. I felt a little better about the situation, but I'm still too embarrassed to look the man in the face.
Do you think he feels differently about me now? And how can I deal with this? -- EMBARRASSED
DEAR EMBARRASSED: There is nothing you can do about the past, so there's no point in agonizing over it. If your boyfriend's father is somewhat sophisticated and worldly, chances are he is not nearly as shocked as you are embarrassed. The best way to deal with it is to say nothing.
DEAR ABBY: My son was married six months ago, and I just learned that a number of wedding gifts from our side of the family have not as yet been acknowledged.
As the mother of the groom, would it be improper for me to telephone or write a note to those whose wedding gifts have not been acknowledged? -- NO CITY, PLEASE
DEAR NO CITY: Although you are understandably embarrassed, it would be inappropriate for you to take it upon yourself to acknowledge your adult children's wedding gifts.
To do so would give the impression that your son and his bride are either lazy, negligent, disorganized, insensitive, thoughtless, procrastinating or ignorant -- or possibly all of the above. It would also make you appear to be a meddlesome and overprotective parent.
But since this has bothered you enough to write to me, I suggest that you tell your son and his bride that you are embarrassed by their negligence. Then volunteer to assist in a chore that appears to be too much for them.
DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you referred to your definition of "maturity," but you printed only part of it. Will you please print the entire definition? As I recall, it was wonderful. -- BARBARA IN KAILUA, HAWAII
DEAR BARBARA: Here it is:
MATURITY IS:
The ability to stick with a job until it's finished.
The ability to do a job without being supervised.
The ability to carry money without spending it.
And the ability to bear an injustice without wanting
to get even.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
If God Set Up a Picket Line, We Would All Be Out of Luck
DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, I copied this poem out of your column in the Indiana (Pa.) Gazette. Since there are so many strikes now, I thought it might be a good time to print it again. -- MRS. ARTHUR STEELE, INDIANA, PA.
IF GOD SHOULD GO 0N STRIKE
by Walt Huntley
How good it is that God above
has never gone on strike,
Because He was not treated fair
in things He didn't like.
If only once, He'd given up and
said, "That's it, I'm through!
"I've had enough of those on Earth,
so this is what I'll do:
"I'll give my orders to the sun
cut off the heat supply!
"And to the moon -- give no more light,
and run the oceans dry.
"Then just to make things really tough
and put the pressure on,
"Turn off the vital oxygen till
every breath is gone!"
You know He would be justified,
if fairness was the game,
For no one has been more abused
or met with more disdain
Than God, and yet he carries on,
supplying you and me
With all the favors of His grace,
and everything for free.
Men say they want a better deal,
and so on strike they go,
But what a deal we've given God
to whom all things we owe.
We don't care whom we hurt
to gain the things we like;
But what a mess we'd all be in,
If God should go on strike.
DEAR ABBY: I am living proof that a person is never too old to learn. I have had a fingernail-chewing habit since I was a young boy. I tried everything I ever heard of to break the habit. Nothing worked -- until I read about a "cure" in, of all places, your column! You suggested wearing a rubber band around the wrist, and whenever the nail-biter picks up his or her hand to chew a fingernail, snap the rubber band instead.
Here I am, an 80-year-old man who finally found a cure for a habit I have hated nearly all my life. The rubber band I wear on my right wrist at all times is an eighth of an inch wide, and it's loose and comfortable.
I am signing my name, which you have my permission to use if you wish. Thank you, Dear Abby. -- WILLIAM (BILL) ISAKSON, HOLIDAY, FLA,
DEAR MR. ISAKSON: I am delighted to have been of help. I'd give you a snappier answer, but it might be stretching things a bit. So, congratulations, and all good wishes to you.
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)