DEAR ABBY: Well, it happened again tonight! Don't people realize that in this day and age, it is not safe to assume anything?
I am a 21-year-old man -- stable and successful -- and I am presently seeing a woman who is 19 years my senior. For some reason (probably because I look younger than I am), people tend to assume that we are mother and son.
Abby, you would not believe the pain and frustration it causes my girlfriend when people tell her what a handsome "son" she has! She doesn't look anywhere near old enough to be my mother.
Tonight when we came out of a restaurant and the valet retrieved my car, the young fellow who brought us our car said, "Gee, if my mom had a car like this, she'd never let me drive it!"
Please let your readers know that assumptions can be rude. I doubt there would be a problem if I was 40 and she was 19 or 20. -- HATES ASSUMPTIONS
DEAR HATES: Unfortunately, some assumptions -- when verbalized -- can be cruel as well as rude. However, when a 40-year-old man is in the company of a 19- or 20-year-old woman, the assumption is more likely to be that they are boyfriend and girlfriend. Today, when people are living longer and taking better care of themselves (physically, nutritionally and sometimes with a little help from a plastic surgeon), age is merely a number.
But on the chance that it could be embarrassing, it's wise to make no assumptions concerning the relationship between a male and female.