By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Cary Grant's 'Meditation' Is as Full of Grace as He Was
DEAR READERS: Five years ago today, Cary Grant died -- just seven weeks before his 83rd birthday. Not a bad score. He couldn't have written a better ending himself.
Gary Grant was a superstar in every sense of the word. He wore his stardom with grace and dignity, and for all his fame and adulation, he remained incredibly unspoiled.
In his later years, he made occasional appearances in theaters around the country, billed simply as "A Conversation with Cary Grant." He didn't need much advertising; one small ad would appear in the local newspaper, and the house was immediately sold out.
Everywhere he appeared, he received a standing ovation simply for walking out on the stage. He had no routine; he just sat perched on a long-legged stool in the center of the stage with a spotlight beamed on his famous face, and for two hours he answered random questions from the audience. They loved it. And so did he.
He closed his "conversation" with a piece he called "A Meditation," saying he didn't know who wrote it, but it expressed his own sentiments about growing older. It also expresses mine. And here it is:
"Now Lord, you've known me a long time. You know me better than I know myself. You know that each day I am growing older and someday may even be very old, so meanwhile please keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
"Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing. I've a certain amount of knowledge to share; still it would be very nice to have a few friends who, at the end, recognized and forgave the knowledge I lacked.
"Keep my tongue free from the recital of endless details. Seal my lips on my aches and pains: They increase daily and the need to speak of them becomes almost a compulsion. I ask for grace enough to listen to the retelling of others' afflictions, and to be helped to endure them with patience.
"I would like to have improved memory, but I'll settle for growing humility and an ability to capitulate when my memory clashes with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that on some occasions, I may be mistaken.
"Keep me reasonably kind; I've never aspired to be a saint ... saints must be rather difficult to live with ... yet on the other hand, an embittered old person is a constant burden.
"Please give me the ability to see good in unlikely places and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so, dear Lord."
P.S. DEAR READERS: Many books have been written about Cary Grant, but if you want to read the only authentic history of his life and loves, get the book "Evenings With Cary Grant" by Nancy Nelson, published by Morrow. It's an absolute treasure.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old single (by choice) woman, and after 20 years of dating, I have come to the conclusion that my mother was wrong when she said, "A lady never calls a gentleman -- she waits for him to call her." Too many times I've had a man ask for my phone number, then I'd wait impatiently for him to call me. Sometimes he'd call, yet there were times when he never followed through. Then I'd agonize over what I might have done wrong.
When a woman meets a man she'd like to see again, and he takes her number, why shouldn't she feel free to take his, too, so if he doesn't call her, she can call him?
I recently met a very attractive man and we seemed to hit it off very well, but instead of his taking my number and saying the usual "I'll call you," he gave me his number and asked me to call him. Perfect! I had the option either to call him or not -- it was all up to me. I liked that.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not on a power trip. I still like doors opened for me, but I prefer to do the calling.
I'd like to hear the opinions of men on this. -- DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU
DEAR DON'T: Many women are the aggressors, and they do not apologize for it -- nor should they. Relationships should be based upon honesty -- and there is nothing wrong with saying, "I find you very attractive, and I'd like to see you again." It doesn't matter who makes the first call. Women are people, and people should not play games.
Gentlemen?
DEAR ABBY: When I read the story about the sister-in-law who allows her dog to eat off the same plates as humans, I thought of my mother. Buying a special dish for the dog will not work. My mother has several dogs and cats, and they have their own feeding dishes. After dinner, however, they are allowed to finish the leftovers from her regular plates.
Once when we were visiting, she went one step further. She prepared a tuna casserole, and during our meal, one of the cats jumped up onto the table. My mother took the serving spoon from the casserole, tapped the cat on the nose, then turned to my husband and asked if he wanted seconds. He declined. -- KANSAS CITY
DEAR READERS: This morning, I received the following note from Jack Hill, a valued friend and employee who has been in my mail room since Year One. I thought it was so cute, I would like to share it. It read:
DEAR ABBY: To remind you that I will be on vacation for one week beginning Monday.
For your information, I am not going anywhere; it will be a "Honey Do" vacation: "Honey, do this -- Honey, do that." -- JACK
DEAR READERS: Your chuckle for today: When George Jessel took Lena Horne to a famous restaurant, the doorman asked, "Who made your reservations?"
Jessel replied, "Abraham Lincoln."
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.
In Our Troubled Times, We Still Have Thanks to Give
DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. So let us pause for a moment today and make a mental note of all those blessings for which we can be thankful.
How is your health? You have a few minor complaints? Well, thank God they're not major. If you're reading this -- you're still here. You can probably think of at least one person who isn't around this year. (I know I can.)
If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, read the newspaper with two good eyes (or even one) -- praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't. (Say a prayer for those who have perished -- from natural causes, fire, flood, earthquake or war.)
How's your pocketbook? Thin? You're not alone. But many people in much of the world are a lot poorer and have far less hope than we have in America.
Are you lonely? Well, the way to have a friend is to reach out to someone and try to be a friend. If nobody calls you, call someone. Go out of your way today to do something nice for another person. It's a sure cure for the blues.
Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern -- concern for fair treatment under the law. Our country may not be a rose garden, but it is far from a patch of weeds.
Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can worship in the church of your choice (or not worship at all if that's your choice), cast a secret ballot and even criticize our government without fear of retribution. And for the first time, we are living in a unipolar world free from the threat of impending nuclear disaster.
As a final thought I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer. Perhaps you will want to use it at your table tomorrow -- let one of the children read it:
"O, heavenly father, we thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
"We thank thee for health and remember the sick.
"We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
"We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
"May these remembrances stir us to service,
"That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen."
May the spirit of Thanksgiving be shared by one and all! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may God bless you and yours. -- Love, Abby
P.S. Why not invite a friend who lives alone to share a Thanksgiving meal -- or better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." Try it, and let me know how your day was.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)