Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Teen's Question About Will Could Be Cause for Concern
DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl who often reads your column. I was wondering how I could get -- or make -- a legal will. I have few valuables, so it's mostly personal stuff that I want given to certain people.
I don't want my parents to know. Please send me some information on this. Thank you. -- NO NAME, PLEASE
DEAR NO NAME: It is rather unusual for a 14-year-old to inquire about how to make a legal will. I am concerned about why a person so young would want this information.
Regardless of how strict your parents may seem to be, in times of serious trouble they are your best friends. However, since you do not want your parents to know, please talk to your school counselor. And please don't be afraid to tell the counselor what it is that troubles you. Only if you discuss your problems can you get the help you deserve.
Please talk to the counselor immediately, and then write again and let me know how you are. I care.
DEAR ABBY: Can you stand one more story about a phony money-making scheme?
My mother, a widow who lives on her Social Security, received a telephone call advising her that she had won three prizes -- an automobile, $10,000 in diamonds, and her choice of a vacation in Hawaii, California or Florida! Well, Mama thought she had died and gone to heaven!
The man on the phone told her that all she had to do was let them send her their "products" to try; the products were free, but she had to pay for shipping, handling and insurance, which was "only $699.99."
Then the caller asked Mother if she had either MasterCard or Visa. She said she had MasterCard. So she was asked to give him her card number. She became suspicious and hung up! The man called her back saying, "We must have been disconnected." Then Mother said, "I'm sorry, I was advised never to give my credit card number to anyone on the telephone." She then hung up and immediately called the Better Business Bureau to report this company. She was thanked, and then told that they already had the name of this company on file!
Abby, please run this in your column. There are still plenty of people who might fall for this kind of scam. -- NO FOOL IN PHOENIX
DEAR NO FOOL: You would be amazed to learn how many people continue to fall for this kind of scam. I have warned my readers never to give their credit card numbers on the telephone. Thanks for the reminder.
DEAR ABBY: I appreciated your column on "faking it" -- especially the letter from "Deserves an Academy Award" who wrote: "Of course I fake it. All women do. I adore my husband, but he couldn't find my erogenous zone with a road map."
Well, we have been happily married for 51 years, and my husband did not need a road map to find my erogenous zone. I gave him directions. -- HAPPY IN OHIO
DEAR ABBY: You were right in your advice to "No Guts," who had given his fiancee a three-carat cubic zirconia. (You told him to find the guts because it would be better if she got the news from him.) I only wish he had written his letter a year ago. Here is the female point of view:
My fiance gave me a two-carat "diamond," saying he had inherited it from his grandfather. He said the jeweler that mounted it had told him its value was "between $8,000 and $10,000 dollars." When I asked if he'd ever had it appraised or insured, he said he hadn't -- because he didn't want to pay an inheritance tax. His mother didn't even know he had it, he said, and I could never tell her because it would cause a family feud!
Of course, being in love and blinded by this gorgeous "rock," I fell for the whole story, and proudly showed it off at work and to friends and family. Imagine my embarrassment (yes, after the wedding!) when I took it to a jeweler to have it appraised, and he told me it was not a diamond!
When I confronted my husband, he gave me another string of lies, saying that either one of his previous roommates had found the ring in the apartment and replaced the stone with a fake, or that when he took it to the jeweler for engraving, the jeweler must have switched the stones. Then he said that he knew when he said "I do" that it wasn't a diamond, but planned to replace it (without my knowledge) on our first anniversary.
Needless to say, eight months before our first anniversary, I divorced this con artist.
I learned my lesson the hard way -- and my sympathies go out to his next victim. "No Guts" should heed your sound advice, Abby, but I would also advise women to be wary of and question any diamond that is over one-half carat if it has no papers. -- E.Z. DECEIVEE
DEAR DECEIVEE: It's discouraging to contemplate a world where a bride-to-be must see in black and white that her fiance is on the up and up. Not all that glitters is gold, nor is all that sparkles a genuine diamond.
DEAR ABBY: A few months back I sent for your booklet on "How to Be Popular." It did me so much good, I'm a different person. I read it several times, and then passed it on to family and friends. It may never get back to me, so will you please send me another copy -- along with "How to Write Letters for All Occasions" and "How to Have a Lovely Wedding"?
I read your column every day -- and it makes such good sense. God bless you. -- HELEN LEWIS, OOLOGAH, OKLA.
DEAR ABBY: Do you happen to know George Bernard Shaw's very witty definition of love? -- JAMES K. IN MIAMI
DEAR JAMES: Yes. "Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DAUGHTER'S SEARCH FOR DAD ENDS HAPPILY WITH HIS CALL
DEAR ABBY: About 20 years ago my parents divorced. My mother kept my father's whereabouts unknown, and eventually all contact was lost. When I turned 18 and left home, I tried to no avail to locate my father. I gave up after six years, until I read a letter in your column. You gave the address for the Salvation Army, which has a Missing Persons Service to help find close relatives. I contacted them, and yesterday I received a telephone call from my father!
Many years have passed and he has a new family, but I hope we can build a relationship now.
Thank you, Abby, from the bottom of my heart, for making this possible. Please publish the information about the Salvation Army at least once a year. Maybe there can be other happy endings. -- YVETTE IN NEWPORT BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR YVETTE: No need to thank me. That's what I'm here for.
Readers, the Salvation Army operates a Missing Persons Locator Service in 90 countries throughout the world. This service is available to the public. Those interested should be aware of the following basic guidelines:
1. The inquirer should be searching for a near relative. Please do not request a search for old classmates, sweethearts, wartime buddies, friends or neighbors. And do not ask to find runaway adult children or someone owing you money.
2. The inquirer must be able to provide essential information about the missing person.
3. The Salvation Army reserves the right to accept or reject any request for services based upon consideration of reasonableness, feasibility or notice.
4. The inquirer is asked to forward a $10 non-refundable donation.
5. The inquirer may secure information and/or a missing persons inquiry form by contacting the nearest Salvation Army office in his area or by contacting the nearest Territorial Headquarters.
Addresses: P.O. Box C635, West Nyack, N.Y. 10994; 1424 Northeast Expressway, Atlanta, Ga. 30329-2088; 30840 Hawthorne Blvd., Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif. 90274; 10 W. Algonquin, Des Plaines, Ill. 60016.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have no children, but we plan to try in the near future. If we have a son, my wife wants to name him after me.
The problem is I already have a son named after me from my first marriage, and I don't think it would be right to have two half-brothers with the same name. It could cause them both problems in the future with bank accounts, charge accounts, loans, wills, etc.
My wife seems to think these would be only minor inconveniences. I don't see it that way.
Am I wrong for saying no to naming another son after me? And can you offer a possible solution to this problem? -- H.J.K. Jr.
DEAR H.J.K. JR.: You are not wrong. If that's the way you truly feel, why not reverse the first and middle names? Instead of "Henry Joseph Klophammer" (not your real name), name him "Joseph Henry Klophammer."
This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)