Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Half-Naked Is No Dress Code for Grandmother

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter’s fiancé is a big believer in living the casual life when in his own home. This extends to his not feeling a need to wear a shirt, and usually he only has on a pair of flip flops and running or exercise shorts.

I’ve gotten used to it, but when I bring my 84-year-old mother over to their place for a visit, I can tell his being half-naked makes her uncomfortable, even though she’s too much of a lady to say anything. This is a woman who comes from the time when men wore shirts and ties pretty much wherever they went.

Do you think it’s unreasonable for an adult man to at least put on a shirt when entertaining guests in his home? I’m on the verge of simply not visiting with my mother anymore, which I know would hurt my daughter, who is very close to her grandma, but I have to be fair to my mom. --- NO SHIRT, NO VISIT

DEAR NO SHIRT, NO VISIT: Is your daughter aware of the semi-nude effect on her grandmother? If not, bring her into the picture, and together the two of you might be able to persuade your future son-in-law that it wouldn’t kill him to throw on a shirt and a decent pair of pants when his future grandmother-in-law stops by.

If that doesn’t work, then just start having the visits take place in locations where your daughter’s fiancé doesn’t set the dress Scode.

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