Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Anxious Daughter Worries Mom's Ex Is Still in the Picture

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom asked me to check on the house while she was away on a business trip. When I went into the kitchen, I saw the landline’s message light blinking. My mom is old school about the house phone. I texted her to see if she wanted me to check the messages and she said she did, since my grandma will call the landline if she can’t get my mother on the cell.

The message was from my mom’s ex. The caller ID showed he had been trying her number a bunch of times over the past couple of days. The message said her cell voicemail box was full, and asked her to call him as soon as she had the chance.

I thought my mom had gotten rid of this guy weeks ago. He was a real jerk to her, and I was glad when she dumped him. Now I see he’s still in the picture. I didn’t say anything to her beyond relaying the message, and she didn’t say anything at all other than thanking me for taking care of things.

The more I think about it, the more worried I get. I don’t want to be a nosy daughter, but I am not happy this guy’s still in the picture. Do I have a right to ask her about it? --- MORE WORRIED THAN CURIOUS

DEAR MORE WORRIED THAN CURIOUS: As a daughter, you have a right to be worried. The bottom line, though, is your mom’s an adult and entitled to run her life as she sees fit.

It’s possible your mother and her ex are no longer a couple, but have chosen to stay in touch. If the situation’s making you uneasy, discuss it with her. But unless there’s cause for concern about her personal safety, accept it’s none of your business.

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