Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Religiously Devout Woman Worries About Scaring-off Boyfriend

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been seeing “Jerry” for a few months and I find myself getting more and more attracted and attached to him. He comes from a background that doesn’t include any formal religious practices, and I come from a strong faith-based home. I have no problem with Jerry doing ─ or not doing ─ his own thing religiously, because I am firm enough in my faith to be comfortable with his choices. But I haven’t yet told him how much following my faith means to me. I am afraid he’ll think I am some kind of religious fanatic.

Do I keep it to myself, or risk sharing my beliefs with him? --- SECURE IN FAITH

DEAR SECURE IN FAITH: Since you haven’t mentioned your commitment to your faith in the months you’ve been seeing “Jerry”, it’s quite possible he’ll simply accept it as part of the package he’s been getting to know.

Because your faith is so central to you, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes aware of it ─ if he isn’t already ─ and it isn’t fair to either of you to hide an important part of who you are. Such concealments can lead to misunderstandings and resentment over time. Give him some credit for being as open-minded as you are, and remember it isn’t at all unusual for successful couples to have different views on religion.

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