Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Granddaughter Worries About Grandma's New Male Friend

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandmother moved into an assisted living place last December. Whenever I go to visit her, she is usually hanging out with one guy, and the staff tells me, like it is cute or something, that they are always together. I don’t want this guy taking advantage of my grandma. She never did any of the financial stuff when my grandfather was alive, and I just have a feeling this guy is out for her money. My grandmother is nearly 80 and has a little dementia, so why shouldn’t I worry? --- CONCERNED GRANDDAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDDAUGHTER: One of the main reasons people move into assisted living communities is so they’ll have some companionship. It sounds like your grandmother has found that, and other than the fact that she spends time with her new friend, you don’t mention if there’s been anything you’ve observed to support your concerns. If you have, you need to raise them with your parents, if they’re in the picture. If not, you can approach an administrator at the center and tell him or her what you’ve seen.

Take care though, because if you raise a false alarm, it might adversely affect your grandmother’s comfort and happiness ─ and that of her friend.

Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at