Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

LW Is Tired of Being Cougar-Bait

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Why is it so many older women use younger men for an ego boost?

I’m mainly attracted to women ten to twenty years older than me, but they mostly all just lead me on to get an ego boost and then tell me they are too old for me. What they really mean is that I am not old enough for them. And I suspect they also mean I don’t have enough money for their liking either.

If they thought that the age difference is too great, they should have never engaged in a date in the first place.

It’s hard to get all excited about finally having someone to connect with and then find out yet again I was just being used to make them feel pretty and wanted, then cast aside.

How do I communicate before the first date that if they just want a fling or a one-week “flirtationship” that I’m not interested? --- LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN

DEAR LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN: Not all mature women are just out for an ego boost. I’ve known several successful older woman/younger man couples. It comes down to both halves of the couple looking past age and, like in any potential long-term relationship, finding enough common ground to both stand on and move forward through over time.

The only way you’re going to know if there’s a potential for that kind of a partnership is to approach the first date with your eyes wide open, your heart on guard, and a willingness to be the one to put on the breaks if things seem to be moving towards the physical too fast. If she’s looking for something more than a fling, she should want to invest time in you and not just your youth.

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