Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Hot and Cold Running Friendship

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have played softball with “Pat” for years. We started out in the kid’s rec leagues, were on the same travel team, and this past spring both joined the same adult rec team. Pat is a good player and friendly during the season, and always has been. For a few months each year she and I are pretty tight. Then, as soon as the season is over, Pat not only disappears, but she rarely bothers to return calls or texts. It is as if I become invisible the minute I am no longer part of her regular schedule.

This has been going on for years and I know it shouldn’t still bother me, but it does. Am I doing something wrong, or is she? --- THE INVISIBLE TEAMMATE

DEAR TEAMMATE: There are some people who compartmentalize their lives so completely that they’re uncomfortable when elements from one compartment spill over into another. Pat may have that mindset, and if so, don’t take it personally. If you enjoy being with her within the context of softball, then just go with it, accepting the reality that Pat, like opening day, will be back next season.

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